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How My Abortion Has Almost Ruined My Life…

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I got an e-mail from a lady who had read one of my articles about Teen Parenting. After reading it, I thought everyone should know her story on abortion. There are so many women out there that are using abortion for their birth control. There are so many women who are going into abortion clinics and are blind as to what is going to happen. If you have read anything of mine, you would already know that I am Pro-Life. I would rather see parents make an adoption plan or parent the baby rather than have an abortion. People think that abortion is the ‘quick fix,’ but it’s not. Here is our guests story.

I was a senior in high school and I had the college I wanted to attend already picked out with a scholarship to go along with it. One night at a party I had a little too much to drink and one thing lead to another. I had a one night fling with someone who I thought was my friend, but turned out he was a whole different person when he realized that I was pregnant. He also had a full scholarship to go play baseball. He told me “he wasn’t ready to be a dad and that I should just take care of it.” I didn’t tell a soul, even though rumors began to fly.

One morning, I got up, told my parents that I wanted to drive out to the campus that I was planning to attend in the fall, but instead, I had found an abortion clinic that I was going to go to. I had already talked to them on the phone and made an appointment. I didn’t know what to expect. I walked in and it was like a normal doctor’s office. There were some pregnant ladies in there that were even obviously showing in their pregnancy. The informed me I wouldn’t see anything. I was only 5 weeks along, so it would be a quick process. I remember just closing my eyes and hearing the most awful sounds.

I got home and couldn’t sleep for days. I was depressed. A couple days later, my mom pulled me aside and asked about my abortion. She had seen the paperwork that was sent home with me under the seat of my car. She told me I was to tell nobody. She was in shock. We were Christians and always had been involved in the church. She couldn’t believe what I had done.

I went on to college, and my life somewhat normal. I had weird dreams about the abortion..even years later down the line. I met the guy of my dreams at college. We graduated and got married shortly after. He was so excited to start having children, but I had a heavy heart and couldn’t stop thinking about the baby I had aborted 5 years earlier. I got pregnant really quick. He (my husband) couldn’t wait to text a picture to everyone of the positive pregnancy test. Everyone was excited. Just 3 weeks later, I miscarried the baby that I was pregnant with. It was like a slap in the face. I had lost a baby all over again. My husband was stayed pretty positive. After 4 miscarriages, I told him I wanted to stop trying for a little while. This began to cause problems in our marriage..big ones.

By this point, I am taking a medication for anxiety attacks and a sleep aid. I visited my ob/gyn. She informed me that scarring from the abortion was keeping me from being able to carry a child. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. All my husband wanted was a family…and I wasn’t able to give him children. I didn’t know what to say.

Now, it’s been almost 11 years since my abortion. I have still yet to get pregnant. I am divorced. I did come out and tell my ex-husband about my abortion. I have told my closest friend from high school. I don’t want this to seem like a bad, awful story with a cruddy ending. But I have had to endure a lot of heartache.

I saw my ex-husband quickly remarry and have a child within the first year of marriage. My Dad wants to comfort me, but he doesn’t know the whole story about my abortion. My mother and I haven’t had a good relationship since the blow-up we had when she found my abortion papers. Yes, she accepts me, but is my closer to my older sister and brother who live great lives. My life is full of blessings, but I wish I wouldn’t have ever had an abortion. It’s caused physical, emotional and mental issues with me. I volunteer my time sitting outside the same abortion clinic trying to talk girls out of it. I don’t want to shove it down anyone’s throat..but I want people to be aware. Don’t make the same heartless, selfish decision that I did.

I am grateful for our guest for sharing her story with us. Wow. You truly never know what it’s like to go through an abortion. Society covers it up good and makes it like it’s a quick problem solver, but never goes into details about the possible risks that come with it. If you are someone who is pregnant and thinking of abortion, please consider making an adoption plan and giving your baby a life. Feel free to e-mail me and talk–completely confidential.

If you are suffering after having an abortion, you are not in this alone. Please reach out to someone and talk things over.

Please like, share, and tell us your thoughts. Are you a teen parent with a story? We want to hear from you!

Lord, I pray for all these teenagers that are facing the hard decision of abortion, making an adoption plan or to parent the baby. Give us courage, Lord, courage to make the right decision, courage to stand up for what is right, and courage if we have made a decision we regret. Give us strength each day and guide us as we are going through this. In Jesus Name!

Until next time….be encouraged!

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Sexting- Talk About IT With Your Kids!

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I don’t fully understand why parents get so weird about talking to their child about sex. It is something of this world and they should know about it! I was a teenage parent, and I let my children and stepchildren know how hard it was and how I got there! I tell them that I hope that they don’t take the same path that I did. But, since I was a teenager, there is a popular thing that has surfaced between tweens (yes 11 and 12 year olds too) and teenagers…..SEXTING!
Most parents can put two and two together and figure out what sexting is. Most of it starts out as harmless texting, then comes pictures and then comes sexting! A lot of kids these days are pressured into this. Nothing has changed since you and I were teenagers. They still pull the, “If you love me you will send me a picture..” “You don’t even have to have your face in the picture…” “I will delete it once you send it..” “Nobody will see it but me..” Can you see where I’m going?
So, why is it important to talk to your tweens/teens about sexting and why it is inappropriate, disrespectful, and not classy? Teenagers should know limits. I can’t say this enough. Have limits for your children, especially on the phones! If your child has a phone and has any interest in the opposite sex, it’s time to have the up-to-date birds and bees talk.
How to be an active parent:
Talk to your son/daughter- I can not say it enough about how important it is to have a close relationship with your children! Talk to them about respecting the opposite sex! If you have a daughter, teach her to value her body and demand respect when it comes to her body. Teach her the meaning of having value and respect for her body. If you have a son, teach him how to respect himself. Often boys grow up thinking their privates are the greatest thing ever! Make sure your son doesn’t grow up with this mentality! If you don’t have serious conversations about this particular topic, your son might have this mentality!! It’s good to talk to your children about the dangers or sexting and how it can ruin their reputation!
Dads need to be involved- Having a male figure in your child’s life that is actively involved is crucial! Especially during the times that they are teenagers! Girls need a male role model to be in their lives to show them how men should treat women. Boy should have a male role model so they will know how to treat women. Girl’s should never be downgraded by being asked for a nude or very private picture. Men can be good at teaching both guys and girls this!
Monitor your children- I know some people might disagree with me, but children need limits! Check up on your child! If you ever suspect your child is going through anything different in their lives, or if your child has a boyfriend/girlfriend, it is always good to monitor their social media accounts and text messages!
Lord, we ask you to teach us how to parent during this rough time in our child’s life. It seems like daily they are faced with “the new thing.” Help us and guide us on how to be the best parents that we can be. Lord, we ask you to guide our children and the decisions that they make. Help them and give them strength and wisdom during their times where they feel peer pressure.
Until next time…be encouraged!!!

Cyber Bullying-Parent’s Guide

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I wanted to touch on this subject for parents because whether we realize it or not, cyber bullying is happening all around us. Research shows that many parents don’t even realize that their child is being bullied or is being a bully until it is too late.

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I had a friend recently share with my about her daughter being cyber bullied for months and she had absolutely no clue about it. She found out because her daughter had left her phone in the car and her mom heard it continuously vibrating. She picked up her daughter’s phone only to see so many texts and Facebook notifications that were saying awful things about her daughter. Some of the Facebook messages were so harsh, that she felt that she needed to call in to work and go get her daughter immediately. After getting the other girl’s parents involved, to my friend’s surprise, they knew nothing about it either. One of the girl’s was even a teacher’s daughter and her mother taught at the high school and she still had no clue her daughter was being a bully right under her nose!

I think that bullying is awful. I was somewhat bullied in school and this was before social media and text messaging! In my post from yesterday, I talked apps that your child may have on their phone and some listed are used for cyber bullying as well.
So, how can parents know if their child is being cyber bullied or being a cyber bully? How can we ensure that our child will not be a bully?
Have a relationship with your child- So many parents these days have no clue what their children are doing because they are letting technology be the babysitter! You may say, “Well, my child doesn’t want to hang out with me!” Or, “I don’t have money to spend on my child to take them to do anything!” Find a way to gain a steady relationship with your children. Make time to have conversations with them DAILY. Know what is going on in their lives. As they get older, yes, they will go through phases, but be there for them!
Monitor your child’s technology devices- Some parents may not agree with this and think that that is “their private stuff.” Children do need privacy, I agree with that. That is why our bathroom and their bedroom’s have doors. When it comes to a world in the palm of their hands, then it becomes my business! I do check my children’s phones. I am not saying that I am a stalker and check it daily, but I do check it. As a matter of fact, I have settings on their phones to let me know what apps they are downloading from the app store. I don’t sit there and read their texts word for word, but I glance through it. Know what your child is doing on these technology devices!!
Have limits for your child- This goes back to letting your child’s babysitter be the technology devices and television. I am not saying all phones and televisions are bad, but they can be. If we just allow our children to come home, get on their phones or in the television and have very little or no communication with the rest of the family, then we are giving our children too much freedom! Set time limits for your children. Consider a “technology free” day and do something outside! I am not saying that you should take away the deviced, but have time limits. It’s not healthy allowing your children to stay on their phones and in the television 90% of the time they are home.
Talk to you children about bullying- It is always a good idea to teach your children young about bullying. I’d say when they start stealing all the toys and not sharing when they are 2 years old is a good time. But, really, it’s never too early to start teaching your children about being a bully. Let them know how it can really hurt someone. If you are talking to your teenager about bullying, let them know that sometimes people even commit suicide because they are bullied so much. We also encourage our children to stick up for those that are being bullied, and if they don’t feel like they can stick up for the child, then they need to tell someone. Encourage your child.
Teach your child to serve- I will be doing a blog post at a later date on teaching children how to serve and be there for others. It is good to teach your child to hold the door for someone with their hands full. It is good to teach your child to be polite and respect others around them. It is important to teach your child about other children with disabilities and how hard it is for them. Teach your child to be polite!
These are just some of the things that I suggest. If you see any changes in your child, investigate it and question them about it. They may or may not be being bullied. But that goes back to you having a good, steady relationship with your child. Don’t be scared to ask them questions. And don’t be scared to upset your child! You are the parent and the authority and they need to know what authority is for when we get to the real world!
Lord, we know it’s difficult being a parent, but it’s not impossible. Help us and show us how to be a better parents as we go! Help those that are being bullied. And whatever is being done behind our backs, may it be brought to light so that we may be aware of it. Help us to teach our children how to be kind, courteous children to others. Help us to teach them what it means to serve others.
Until next time…be encouraged!

Sexting! What Parents Need to Know!

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I don’t fully understand why parents get so weird about talking to their child about sex. It is something of this world and they should know about it! I was a teenage parent, and I let my children and stepchildren know how hard it was and how I got there! I tell them that I hope that they don’t take the same path that I did. But, since I was a teenager, there is a popular thing that has surfaced between tweens (yes 11 and 12 year olds too) and teenagers…..SEXTING!
Most parents can put two and two together and figure out what sexting is. Most of it starts out as harmless texting, then comes pictures and then comes sexting! A lot of kids these days are pressured into this. Nothing has changed since you and I were teenagers. They still pull the, “If you love me you will send me a picture..” “You don’t even have to have your face in the picture…” “I will delete it once you send it..” “Nobody will see it but me..” Can you see where I’m going?
So, why is it important to talk to your tweens/teens about sexting and why it is inappropriate, disrespectful, and unclassy? Teenagers should know limits. I can’t say this enough. Have limits for your children, especially on the phones! If your child has a phone and has any interest in the opposite sex, it’s time to have the up-to-date birds and bees talk.
How to be an active parent:
Talk to your son/daughter- I can not say it enough about how important it is to have a close relationship with your children! Talk to them about respecting the opposite sex! If you have a daughter, teach her to value her body and demand respect when it comes to her body. Teach her the meaning of having value and respect for her body. If you have a son, teach him how to respect himself. Often boys grow up thinking their privates are the greatest thing ever! Make sure your son doesn’t grow up with this mentality! If you don’t have serious conversations about this particular topic, your son might have this mentality!! It’s good to talk to your children about the dangers or sexting and how it can ruin their reputation!
Dads need to be involved- Having a male figure in your child’s life that is actively involved is crucial! Especially during the times that they are teenagers! Girls need a male role model to be in their lives to show tem how men should treat women. Boy should have a male role model so they will know how to treat women. Girl’s should never be downgraded by being asked for a nude or very private picture. Men can be good at teaching both guys and girls this!
Monitor your children- I know some people might disagree with me, but children need limits! Check up on your child! If you ever suspect your child is going through anything different in their lives, or if your child has a boyfriend/girlfriend, it is always good to monitor their social media accounts and text messages!
Lord, we ask you to teach us how to parent during this rough time in our child’s life. It seems like daily they are faced with “the new thing.” Help us and guide us on how to be the best parents that we can be. Lord, we ask you to guide our children and the decisions that they make. Help them and give them strength and wisdom during their times where they feel peer pressure.
Until next time…be encouraged!!!

Praying For Your Children

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Remember how I was talking about how I was talking about how important it was to pray for your spouse? Well, it is just as important to pray for your children. The other day on the radio station, parents were sharing how they liked to pray for your children.

One parent admitted that her and her husband prayed and prayed for a child. Finally after they had their child, they quit praying for their child. Often times, we forget to pray for our children. But it’s important to pray for your children, pray over their day and over their lives!

I’m challenging parents who are reading this blog post to begin praying for your children! Several things to pray over:

A hedge of protection over their day- If you turn the news on, you will hear of the violence and cruel world we are living in. It’s important to pray over our children’s day and over their protection while they aren’t in our care. Pray over protection over their school and everyone that they pass along the halls. Pray for their health! begin thanking God that they are healthy!

For Decisions They May Make– The older our children become, the more decisions they will be faced with–as well as peer pressure that they will have to face! Begin to pray over your children and the decisions that they will make. Pray that if they ever face any peer-pressure that they will know and be brave enough to stand up against it.

That Their Lights Will Shine– Every day, I pray that my children will let their lights shine for the Lord. I have taught my children who God is and only pray that they will let their lights shine. I realize that not all of their friends will have the same beliefs as they will, but I pray that they will be smart with choosing their friends. And that if they have any friends with different beliefs, that they will rub off on their friends instead of their friends rubbing off on them.

For The People In Their Lives– I think this is important. I pray that my children will make good decisions with their friends. Call me crazy, I even pray for my children’s future spouses. I pray that they will be smart with the people that they allow into their lives. I pray for the teachers that are teaching my children.

It’s an important thing to to pray for your children. I hope that this encourages you to pray for your children!

Lord, I pray that as we pray for our children, we will become closer to our children. On the days we don’t know what to pray for our children, I pray that you show us how to pray for our children and what to pray for our children. I pray that you will hear and honor our prayers as it fits your will!

Until next time…be encouraged!!!

The Importance of Spending Time With Your Kids

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As kids get older, they really don’t want to “hang out.” But, we have something in our house called “parent dates” and “family dates.” I mentioned in the marriage section how important it was to date our spouse and spend time with our spouses, but it is also so important to gain relationships and become close to our children as well!
I have really liked the idea of the Daddy/Daughter Mom/Son dates, but we just do something like taking the kids out to eat. On the weekend, we will rent movies. And I will go ahead and admit, we have good intentions on spending more time with our children and buy board games, ect, but sometimes lives get busy. Our children, the older they get, they attend extracurricular activities, church events, friends, ect. But, we try to have talks with our children. We were good with eating at the table and spending at least 30 minutes without television, laptops, and cell phones, but weeknights are crazy so we try to eat at the table at least once on the weekend and if it’s possible, during the week. We have back yard time, where we go outside and enjoy our backyard and talk with the kids. I thought that the oldest would be the worse with this time, but to our surprise, he loves backyard time!
With all the busy going on, schedule if you must, to make time with your whole family! Make time for your kids. Take them on family dates, and by the way, you don’t always have to spend money on dates! Go to the park, to the lake, go grab and ice cream, or look for freebie things to do!
This week, I challenge you to spend time with your children doing something! No griping, no arguing, but really connecting with them.
Lord, spending time with each other is so important for the important relationships in our lives. Lord, please help us to make special time to spend with our kids. Help us to connect with our kids and build lifelong relationships! On our dates, help us to make special memories that we will never forget!

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Until next time…be encouraged!!!!