When you go into a marriage, you never intend on having an affair with someone else, but it is something that occurs often in marriages. Having an affair is one of the most devastating things that happen in a marriage. Some marriages can’t even get over their spouse having an affair. It seems like the temptation comes on strong and it has become easier for men and women to have an affair- it’s on television, it’s on the computer, it’s in the workplace, it’s on social media, it’s in the music we listen to. There are many ways that we can be sure to “Affair Proof” our marriage.
- Never stop dating your spouse- It becomes extremely hard when we have to “grow up” after we get married. We get busy. We have jobs. We have kids. We are tired. We don’t have babysitters. We become disconnected to our spouse. It’s extremely easy to get to that point of no longer dating our spouse, but it is CRUCIAL to continue to make time for your spouse. Maybe you and your spouse do have a hard time finding time to still “date” one another. Maybe you can have special dates at home, in the back yard, on the porch. Make time to make your spouse laugh! Have fun! Keep things interesting with each other! Never forget why you married your spouse, and never stop being the googly, crazy, head over hills person for them either!
- If you have a problem, address it- Marriages aren’t perfect. As a matter of fact, marriages are messy….very messy. If we go into a marriage thinking it will be perfect and the worse problem that we will have is little things like, “This house is too small..” or “I want a dog, you don’t..” you are in for a rude awakening. There will be fights, there will be hurtful words spoken, you will get offended by some things that your spouse says, but if your spouse has a problem with you keep it in consideration and try to make a vow to work hard on those problems. If you have a problem with your spouse, do not go at your spouse yelling and fussing and telling them they need to change. (I’m saying it like that, because I was guilty of it and know a lot of arguments are started by simply approaching it the wrong way!) If you have a record for approaching your spouse the wrong way when you have a problem with them, don’t keep making the same mistakes and approaching them the same way over and over. Pray about the best way to communicate with them. Ask them how you can communicate with them. But never keep a problem to yourself, and never let your marriage have a problem that goes unsolved.
- Be aware of the opposite sex- When you do have problems in your marriage, it is really easy to turn to someone who really seems like they care for our problems. But, it is very risky talking to the opposite sex about problems with your life. Most affairs are not simply just seeing someone and saying, “Oh my gosh, I am going to have an affair with them!” You don’t just end up in the bed with people. You begin by building relationships. You start thinking of these people as people you can trust and really confide in when you are having issues. Spending time with people that care with you, you start crossing the line a little by doing a little flirting and that is how emotional and physical affairs are started. If you have to hide what you are saying from your spouse, you are probably creating a risky relationship and possibly on your way to an affair. Be careful about how much you say to the opposite sex. Be careful about how much you are around the opposite sex. Make sure you stay in public areas. Make sure that if you are talking to someone of the opposite sex, to bring up your spouse. Have boundaries! Set boundaries! Always be open with your spouse
- Pornography- Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment..when we look at pornography, it does something to our minds. We begin to think thoughts like,” I wish my spouse was like that.” We start exploring other sexual fantasies. I’ll just say this…if you view pornography, talk to someone about it or stop and pray about it! The thing with pornography and how it really comes between marriages is that your wife might not always feel like having sex or you may have a drought in your sex life…she isn’t there, porn is. Porn opens your minds to start looking at other people outside of the marriage and affairs are started!
- Eye Candy- While we are on the subject of pornography, women are bad about having eye candy. Adam Levigne…Ryan Gosling…Lord those two men pop up on my Facebook (a lot of the times by married women!) And they are posting pictures of these men more than they do their own husbands! Women get caught up in books, movies, and call it what it is…I think 50 Shades of Grey is just as bad as pornography. I think Magic Mike is just as bad as pornography. It makes women excited just like pornography. We shouldn’t need books, pornography, or movies to make us feel excited! That’s what our spouses are for. If you are having a sex drought, that goes back to being open with you spouse!!! Let them know your issues!
- Have Sex- Scratch that!!! Don’t just just have sex, have GREAT SEX! I have had so many sex droughts in our marriage. It’s unreal. I’ve been exhausted, we’ve had different schedules, and to be honest, there was a period of time where I didn’t like who my husband had became…so I didn’t want to have sex. Sex is important. If we don’t “put out” they will find it elsewhere! Believe that! Make time to romance! Guys, don’t expect to just get laid! Some women want to be romanced. Help with chores so she won’t be so exhausted. Let her know you care and love her and are thinking of her. She didn’t just “put out” when you first started dating…you romanced her! NEVER STOP DATING!!! Ladies, things happen to us. We have kids, we have jobs, we don’t feel sexy, but we are not dead and our husbands still have sexual needs! Have sex, even if it’s a quick one in the bathroom! Yeah, I just went there!
- Keep God first- I know that people have affairs and still go to church. But, I believe that if you truly seek God and you really keep him in the center of your marriage and look to him for guidance, that you will feel that God will pull on your heart when when we get in these situations. I believe that we also have a choice to listen to that pull from God or we can listen to ourselves and make a huge mistake. Pray and pray for your spouse.
Lord, I come to you and I want to pray over all marriages. Lord, I pray for the men and women who have viewed pornography. I pray that they would seek help if they can’t stop looking at it. I pray that couples would be smart about the people they surround themselves with. I pray that you would show us Lord, when we are about to get to that line we ar about to cross into “about to have an affair on my spouse.” I pray for and any unseen threats that may try to come against our marriages. Let us be more aware! I pray that you would help us communicate with our spouses. That you would show us the best way to communicate with our spouses. I pray that spouses who haven’t been “bestfriends” in awhile, can find there way back to being best friends again. I pray that you give marriages a new spark like when they first started dating. I pray that marriages strive to keep You the center of our marriages! Help us Lord, Affair Proof our marriages- today and everyday!
Please share this, pin this, e-mail this or reblog it! I would love to hear feedback on how you and your spouse Affair Proof your marriage. If you need prayer for any areas that we have spoken on, I’d be happy to pray for you. You can contact me via e-mail or there is a Prayer Wall. Simple comment with your requests and I’ll add you.
Tune in tomorrow for more marriage talk!
Until next time…be encouraged!!!!