RSS Feed

Tag Archives: cell phones

Social Media=Playground for Affairs

Posted on

font-533232__180

When Social Media starts creeping in on your marriage!

I saw a post the other day that said, “Welcome to Facebook: Where people think your status is about them, people add you but will never talk to you in public, affair are started and your enemies visit your profile the most!” Now, how true is this! Statistics show that over 80% of divorce attorneys mention or have proof that affairs have been started via social media. How scary are those statistics?

If you just spend a couple minutes on a social media site, you will most likely see a married man or woman and them posting a picture of themselves and someone of the opposite sex liking their pictures. Affairs start with just one click and we need to be more aware of how to affair proof our marriage!!!

You might be reading this and thinking, I don’t think my husband or I would ever have an affair! But it can happen to anyone if you are not careful! A lady friend of mine recently was sharing with me how she began her affair with just a single click of a button! She and this particular guy started out by working together, becoming Facebook friends, liking each others pictures, commenting more on each others things, and striking and interest in each other. The more they began to talk, the more interesting things became. She shared things on Facebook that lead people to believe she was having trouble, so the guy would question her about it. That’s how they began their emotional affair!

Facebook isn’t bad. Posting pictures without your spouse isn’t bad. Making comments on other people’s posts aren’t bad. But, when you are having a hard time in your marriage, it can become tempting to post pictures of yourself and try to find attention from other people. There are many different ways to “affair-proof” your marriage when it comes to social media.

  • Do not ever talk bad about your marriage or your spouse on social media! People post about their crappy marriages or how screwed up their spouses are and they are just looking for people to talk to them about their problems. When we expose that our marriage is bad or that we aren’t happy with our spouses, we leave doors open for the opposite sex to come in and talk to us about our marriage and spouse. Of course, at first it may seem harmless but whether social media is involved or not, you should never talk to the opposite sex about your marriage or spouse.
  • Do not post pictures of yourself too much if you are noticing someone of the opposite sex liking it too much. Push for more pictures posted of you and your spouse. Sometimes when we think our spouse’s aren’t happy with us, we become self-conscious and begin looking for attention elsewhere. Trust me, social media is not the place to get the attention you are looking for!
  • Do not start private conversations with the opposite sex that you wouldn’t want their spouse’s seeing. I know you are awake, can’t sleep and so and so is on, what will it hurt to message them and just say “Hey?” Do not be private in your messages. And if someone private messages you of the opposite sex, be open with your spouse to tell them about it. When you start keeping secrets is when there are issues!
  • Don’t seem interested in a person from the opposite sex! Be careful of the things that you comment on, like, and how your actions could mislead someone of the opposite sex. It may seem harmless to you, but to them, they might not be getting the attention they want so what you are giving them by “liking” their pictures or commenting on their things might just be the attention that they need!

So many times, we don’t realize how we act when we are “in the act.” Be aware of what you do on social media. Be open with your spouse about your social media. Go each day with thinking, “If my spouse were to get on my social media, would I have some explaining to do?” And, if social media has been an issue in your marriage, then respect your spouse. Many couples have joint accounts or share passwords, and some marriages are comfortable enough not sharing accounts or knowing each others passwords.

Let’s pray. Lord, I pray for couples that are on social media. Lord, give us wisdom and show us what is smart and what is not. Help us to realize when we are going to far with the pictures that we post or the pictures we like. Help us to use social media for the good and not the bad. Help us to see when the enemy wants to use social media as a trap. Help us to be aware of everything going on through social media.

Please share, pin, e-mail or reblog this post!

Until next time…be encouraged!

How social media almost ruined my marriage!

blogcell

So, yesterday I was explaining how much I hate how people are so sucked into their phones that they can’t and aren’t enjoying their life! I also mentioned that I too, have fallen into this trap of being on my phone constantly.

When the new iPhone 3g came out, my husband bought us both one. I was so memorized at how much the world was at my fingertips. I slept with my phone by bed and when I’d have trouble sleeping, I’d get on Facebook…and post about it!!!

My husband was still going through college and taking classes, so that left me more time to myself. I guess I wanted interaction, so the more “friends” I had, the better! Before I knew it, my world revolved around what Facebook had to say, watering my virtual farm, and whatever else I could get into! As long as it “gave me something to do” I was good, but had no idea that it would really take hold of my life!

Several years ago, maybe 3 or 4, my husband I separated for several months.  The reason being me not showing him enough attention while he was around. I was slacking on my house, mom, wife responsibilities…and I wasn’t caring. It was several months apart..and even when we had made the decision to “stick it out,” I still struggled with always checking my phone! Looking back, I also realized that constantly checking to see what other people were doing was making me depressed. I was seeing couples that were “getting along” and had the “perfect marriage” on the computer screen. I also noticed as Facebook got to be so popular how people started sharing more and more of their business on there and how people started getting more an more into other people’s business.

It wasn’t until after many arguments over how involved I was with my phone and a huge turn-around in our marriage did I start realizing how much my stupid phone had a hold of me. I was looking for an outlet, and I surely found one. Looking back on how I was, I really can’t believe how much I was addicted to being on my phone. I had to check in every where and the Time Hop app constantly reminds me at how much useless, meaningless things I used to share on Facebook….that nobody cared about reading about.

Maybe you aren’t as into your phone as I was, but I’m just wanting to encourage people and let them know that it isn’t all about what is on Facebook. Actually, there are probably things that would do you good not to see on Facebook. There is a whole big world out there the people are missing because they are chasing the virtual one on their phones. I’ve seen and heard of a lot of fights that couples have because they are tying to beat the next level in Candy Crush Saga or trying to see what has recently been posted on Facebook. Don’t be the person that has to be on their phones constantly, especially when your loved ones are wanting time with just you. Put your phones down, I know you are bored and waiting on the waitress to bring your food, but your husband is there…talk to him! I know the dentist is taking forever, but your kids are there in the waiting room..ask them how their day has been. I know it’s a boring night and there is nothing on TV, but when is the last time you played outside with your kids? Pulled out their favorite board game?

I’m not trying to preach, but simply for people to enjoy life.

Until next time…be encouraged!

Enjoy your life…put down your electronics.

Ugh! There is nothing that bothers me most while on date night (other than hearing screaming kids while I’m on a break from my screaming kids) than seeing a couple that isn’t enjoying each other because they are so glued to their phones. And it’s not only husband and wives, but it is everyone. It seems like we can’t enjoy the life around us because we are living in a virtual world. Over the weekend, my husband and I went out to eat, and several tables that we passed, either one person or both of them were on their phones scrolling through their Facebook page not making any interaction with their spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend. It was sad….

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do love Facebook and Pinterest and seeing the latest pictures that so and so put on their Instagram account…BUT…I believe there is a time and place for being on your phones. I’m talking about wives not hearing a thing that their husbands are saying being they just can’t wait to see what “Lisa Jane” posted on her Facebook. We are deaf to what is going on around us because we are too busy pinning million dollar houses that we will never live in, and finding crafts that we want to do with our children..but never will because we can’t get off our phone. Moms are missing their kid’s big plays during the games because they are taking selfies of their “#1 Baseball Mom” t-shirts. There is a time and place, people. I’ve fallen into the social media trap, and even have to catch myself and get off because there is a life outside of Facebook…it will be there when you get some “me” time, but don’t miss your kids growing up, your spouse’s important words they are trying to express to you, or important events with your friends because you are on your phone.

I will talk about it later, but at one time my phone was more important than my family…and my family almost fell apart due to my lack of caring for what was going on on the outside of the useless thing I was holding on to. I’m trying to give you hope today! If your husband constantly is asking what you are doing on Facebook, there is a problem and he obviously wants to be part of your evening. Get off Facebook…. If your kids talk about how much you are always on your phone…look up and pay attention to what they are trying to tell you. You only get so many chances before your spouse gets tired of being ignored and your children are only young for a short amount of time. Also, as your children see you being sucked into the world of technology, they have no choice but to be sucked in as well. Trust me,I don’t think you want Disney, Facebook or Jay-Z raising your kids!

Share this so maybe someone will get off their phones!

Enjoy life…..put down your electronics. Seriously.

Until next time…be encouraged.