When Social Media starts creeping in on your marriage!
I saw a post the other day that said, “Welcome to Facebook: Where people think your status is about them, people add you but will never talk to you in public, affair are started and your enemies visit your profile the most!” Now, how true is this! Statistics show that over 80% of divorce attorneys mention or have proof that affairs have been started via social media. How scary are those statistics?
If you just spend a couple minutes on a social media site, you will most likely see a married man or woman and them posting a picture of themselves and someone of the opposite sex liking their pictures. Affairs start with just one click and we need to be more aware of how to affair proof our marriage!!!
You might be reading this and thinking, I don’t think my husband or I would ever have an affair! But it can happen to anyone if you are not careful! A lady friend of mine recently was sharing with me how she began her affair with just a single click of a button! She and this particular guy started out by working together, becoming Facebook friends, liking each others pictures, commenting more on each others things, and striking and interest in each other. The more they began to talk, the more interesting things became. She shared things on Facebook that lead people to believe she was having trouble, so the guy would question her about it. That’s how they began their emotional affair!
Facebook isn’t bad. Posting pictures without your spouse isn’t bad. Making comments on other people’s posts aren’t bad. But, when you are having a hard time in your marriage, it can become tempting to post pictures of yourself and try to find attention from other people. There are many different ways to “affair-proof” your marriage when it comes to social media.
- Do not ever talk bad about your marriage or your spouse on social media! People post about their crappy marriages or how screwed up their spouses are and they are just looking for people to talk to them about their problems. When we expose that our marriage is bad or that we aren’t happy with our spouses, we leave doors open for the opposite sex to come in and talk to us about our marriage and spouse. Of course, at first it may seem harmless but whether social media is involved or not, you should never talk to the opposite sex about your marriage or spouse.
- Do not post pictures of yourself too much if you are noticing someone of the opposite sex liking it too much. Push for more pictures posted of you and your spouse. Sometimes when we think our spouse’s aren’t happy with us, we become self-conscious and begin looking for attention elsewhere. Trust me, social media is not the place to get the attention you are looking for!
- Do not start private conversations with the opposite sex that you wouldn’t want their spouse’s seeing. I know you are awake, can’t sleep and so and so is on, what will it hurt to message them and just say “Hey?” Do not be private in your messages. And if someone private messages you of the opposite sex, be open with your spouse to tell them about it. When you start keeping secrets is when there are issues!
- Don’t seem interested in a person from the opposite sex! Be careful of the things that you comment on, like, and how your actions could mislead someone of the opposite sex. It may seem harmless to you, but to them, they might not be getting the attention they want so what you are giving them by “liking” their pictures or commenting on their things might just be the attention that they need!
So many times, we don’t realize how we act when we are “in the act.” Be aware of what you do on social media. Be open with your spouse about your social media. Go each day with thinking, “If my spouse were to get on my social media, would I have some explaining to do?” And, if social media has been an issue in your marriage, then respect your spouse. Many couples have joint accounts or share passwords, and some marriages are comfortable enough not sharing accounts or knowing each others passwords.
Let’s pray. Lord, I pray for couples that are on social media. Lord, give us wisdom and show us what is smart and what is not. Help us to realize when we are going to far with the pictures that we post or the pictures we like. Help us to use social media for the good and not the bad. Help us to see when the enemy wants to use social media as a trap. Help us to be aware of everything going on through social media.
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Until next time…be encouraged!