To the person who is/or on the verge of having an affair-
I wanted to take a moment to address the men and women who are out there that are in the middle of an affair, or are flirting with the idea of having an affair. I am not making this post to judge people, but I think when we are in the middle of things, we aren’t seeing clearly. When temptation is thrown at us, we don’t always look at what the long- term looks like, but we are looking at the ‘now’ and what ‘now’ feels like and how ‘now’ makes us feel.
If you are a person who is flirting with the idea of having an affair with someone who is married or maybe you are in the middle of having an affair, please stop. I ask you to stop because YOU ARE A PERSON WITH VALUE! A person with value will not have to wait for their ”person of their dreams” to leave their spouse just to be with them. Do you know what your title is when you are having an affair with a married person? You are the SIDE PERSON! Side people do not have value or see value in themselves. If you are reading this, you are a person with value! You are more than ”a side person!” If you have thought, “but they love me so much.” No, because if they loved you, they would also see value in you and treat you with value. If you have to hide a relationship, it’s not worth having. “They are going to leave their spouse.” Umm, but they haven’t yet. They are still going home to them..I don’t care how crappy they say their home life is. They are still going to home to THAT person..not YOU! You have more value than that! Own it! If you are in a relationship or flirting with the idea of having an affair with someone who is already married, just do yourself a favor and DROP IT! Seriously. There are plenty of men and women out there who would be glad to be seen in public with you, receive text messages from you without having to worry about being caught, go on actual dates! Do yourself a favor and see value in yourself. You are more than a side person, side chick, or home wrecker! SEE VALUE!
If you are flirting with the idea of having an affair or in the middle of an affair, do yourself, your wife and children a favor and BREAK THAT CRAP OFF! I don’t care what your marriage looks like or how much of a piece of crap your spouse is. Having an affair is not the answer…never is! Maybe you are thinking, “My spouse and I are getting divorced anyway.” But, you haven’t yet. You are still married. So, respect it and own your marriage. “My spouse will never find out.” This is the hugest lie people tell themselves. People talk, people find out, and they will find out! Believe that! “My spouse doesn’t love me anyway.” If they didn’t love you, maybe they feel the same about you. Maybe they don’t feel like you value them or love them either. Maybe instead of putting all of your effort in hiding a relationship or working hard to impress someone other than your spouse, put work towards your spouse instead. Have you ever heard the quote, “If the grass is greener on the other side, water your own grass!” This is true! Most married people have no intentions on leaving their spouses, but they want something different. It doesn’t mean they don’t love their spouse, because something in them still cares and loves their spouse. Maybe you are thinking that sounds like you.
Think about people that you will hurt along with way of having an affair. Wives, husbands, children, and family are drug into your affair. Affairs hurt other people along the way. Affairs embarrass people along the way. The people doing the affair is not meaning to hurt others, but they aren’t thinking while it’s going on.
Affairs don’t solve marriage issues. Many men and women get lonely during their marriages and think that they will just have a short affair until their marriage gets back on track. Affairs don’t solve marriage problems, they make them worse.
Affairs make people feel like they have value. People that participate in affairs usually do not see value in themselves or in their marriage so they are tempted with other people that make them have temporary value in themselves, but they aren’t thinking about the long term.
Have you ever read the story about Adam and Eve and Satan gives them the ‘forbidden’ fruit? It looked so good to Adam and Eve, so they ate it! They sinned against God. This is the same situation. Satan can dress things up so nicely that make you feel good about yourself, but in the end, they are just a road to destruction.
Having an affair will not help you, your spouse, your children, your family, or even the other person that is involved in the affair. If your marriage sucks so bad, then get out of it before getting involved with someone else. If you are the ”other person” then see value in yourself. When people are caught in affairs, they aren’t seen as people with value. Having an affair will kill your reputation. Think about it.
Lord, I pray for all the people around the world who are tempted EVERYDAY by people they pass and work with. I pray that they recognize these temptations and they see that they are not good. Lord, if we are seeking people who are married to give us attention, Lord, I pray that we stop right now and see value in ourselves. Lord, help us to see the value in ourselves! Help us to see that we are made from You and that You don’t make junk! Help us to realize that having an affair might seem good and pleasing while it’s going on, but show us the big picture and that it will end in destruction. Lord, give us wisdom!
Until next time…be encouraged!