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The Truth About AshleyMadison.com

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I didn’t even know what AshleyMadison.com was until a couple of days ago when I had noticed that 13 people had shared this blog post about it on Facebook. I knew if that many people were interested in it…I guess it must have been ‘something.’ So, I began looking into this website and was honestly appalled by what I was reading and the listings of people in my area on this site!

The website’s famous logo is, “Life is Short, Have an Affair.” Hmm..let that sink in. Over the past couple of days, I have heard news stories, people sharing on Facebook, on Twitter about this ridiculous website. “Females frantically checking this site and adding their husband’s e-mail to see if they are affiliated with this site.” “Spouses buying these programs to see what sites their spouse is on.” Are people really that concerned with their marriage that they have to worry if their spouse is visiting a site like AshleyMadison.com?

The truth about life–about marriage is yes, marriage is hard. Yes, at times, we can feel unappreciated or distant from our spouses. Life gets in the way of marriage. Sometimes, we think that our spouse doesn’t love us anymore because they aren’t the person we married. They don’t show their love. Or maybe, they have even it has came out of their mouths that they don’t love us–or they hate us, or hate our marriage. When our marriage hits a breaking point, some people do give up and get weak. Some people do start looking for attention from the opposite sex because they aren’t getting it from their spouse. Some people do have affairs. The world, the website, is saying that it’s okay to have an affair. It’s all a big secret that won’t get back to your spouse.

The truth of the matter here is that people don’t need a website to find someone to have an affair. The temptation is at work, at the gym, in public, or even in the church. This website might be ”talked about” and flaunted like it’s some solution to fix your life. But, do you really think an affair will fix things in your life? Do you really think that an affair will make things easier? Do you really think you should be finding someone else when you are still committed to a person you vowed for better or worse with?

If you find yourself worried that you spouse is having an affair, maybe you should check your marriage! How can you fix it? Have you prayed about it? Have you talked with someone or did you seek counsel? And if you are that person that is miserable in your marriage and think that “YES!” “And affair is just what I need!” Maybe you need to check yourself.If you think you can seek something better, maybe you should dedicate the effort you put into having an affair, keeping it a secret, deleting texts, deleting phone logs, deleting e-mails…..man! That’s tiring and some work. Put that work into you marriage. Instead of trying to impress the woman who is also married and has a family, buy your wife some flowers and take her to dinner. Instead of sending a dirty picture to the man who is already wearing a wedding ring, try respecting yourself and sending your husband a text message telling him how much you appreciate him and love him and send him a picture of your wedding day!

That’s just my two cents ya’ll…..take it as a grain of salt if you need to, but believe me, it’s true!

Dear God, I pray for marriages! There are temptations on Facebook, on Youtube, on the TV, at our work…Lord help us to see these temptations! Help us to recognize these as a trap from Hell! Lord, restore our marriages! Help us to follow what the Bible says about marriage and apply it to our own marriages. Help us to be cautious of our surroundings. Lord, give us a refreshing mind and a renewing love for our spouses. Help us to remember who we married and why we married them. Help us to set good examples of what a marriage is to our family and children. The world is awful and says that it’s okay to have affairs. Lord, help us not to believe those lies, but to seek Your Truth! In JESUS NAME

Until next time…be encouraged!

Sexting- Talk About IT With Your Kids!

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I don’t fully understand why parents get so weird about talking to their child about sex. It is something of this world and they should know about it! I was a teenage parent, and I let my children and stepchildren know how hard it was and how I got there! I tell them that I hope that they don’t take the same path that I did. But, since I was a teenager, there is a popular thing that has surfaced between tweens (yes 11 and 12 year olds too) and teenagers…..SEXTING!
Most parents can put two and two together and figure out what sexting is. Most of it starts out as harmless texting, then comes pictures and then comes sexting! A lot of kids these days are pressured into this. Nothing has changed since you and I were teenagers. They still pull the, “If you love me you will send me a picture..” “You don’t even have to have your face in the picture…” “I will delete it once you send it..” “Nobody will see it but me..” Can you see where I’m going?
So, why is it important to talk to your tweens/teens about sexting and why it is inappropriate, disrespectful, and not classy? Teenagers should know limits. I can’t say this enough. Have limits for your children, especially on the phones! If your child has a phone and has any interest in the opposite sex, it’s time to have the up-to-date birds and bees talk.
How to be an active parent:
Talk to your son/daughter- I can not say it enough about how important it is to have a close relationship with your children! Talk to them about respecting the opposite sex! If you have a daughter, teach her to value her body and demand respect when it comes to her body. Teach her the meaning of having value and respect for her body. If you have a son, teach him how to respect himself. Often boys grow up thinking their privates are the greatest thing ever! Make sure your son doesn’t grow up with this mentality! If you don’t have serious conversations about this particular topic, your son might have this mentality!! It’s good to talk to your children about the dangers or sexting and how it can ruin their reputation!
Dads need to be involved- Having a male figure in your child’s life that is actively involved is crucial! Especially during the times that they are teenagers! Girls need a male role model to be in their lives to show them how men should treat women. Boy should have a male role model so they will know how to treat women. Girl’s should never be downgraded by being asked for a nude or very private picture. Men can be good at teaching both guys and girls this!
Monitor your children- I know some people might disagree with me, but children need limits! Check up on your child! If you ever suspect your child is going through anything different in their lives, or if your child has a boyfriend/girlfriend, it is always good to monitor their social media accounts and text messages!
Lord, we ask you to teach us how to parent during this rough time in our child’s life. It seems like daily they are faced with “the new thing.” Help us and guide us on how to be the best parents that we can be. Lord, we ask you to guide our children and the decisions that they make. Help them and give them strength and wisdom during their times where they feel peer pressure.
Until next time…be encouraged!!!

Teaching Your Children to Pray

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Yesterday, I was talking about how important it is to pray for our children. Today, I am encouraging parents to teach their children HOW to pray! As a child, I was taught little, cutesy prayers like “Now I lay me down to sleep….” and “God is great, God is good….” I am not saying that those prayers aren’t cute, but I think it comes a time in a child’s life where they must move on from those childish prayers.

Like I mentioned, I wasn’t taught as a child really how to pray and my prayers be really meaningful. It wasn’t until I was an adult when I really began to really learn to pray and how important it was pray. I was determined that I was going to teach my children early on how to pray, because it’s important!

I began teaching my children the little prayers to say before bedtime and before we eat. I begin to really pray how I could really teach my children to pray. We attend a church that is really big on praying and teaching us–as well as our children how important it was to start praying and constantly praying about everything and everyone!

I try to pray with my children every morning. We get to a certain point on our route to school and I say, “Okay, it’s time to start praying!” I begin praying over their day, over their protection, over their friends. I have just started really praying with them constantly this past year. They have started asking God to give them wisdom I will ask them if they have anything to pray over..sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t.

Encourage your children to pray and teach them how to pray.

Lord, give us guidance on how to teach our children how to build relationships with you. If we don’t know how to pray I pray that we can learn with one another. I pray that we all can grow in faith with one another. Help us to each our children in the way they should go because your word says in Proverbs that if we teach our children in the way they should go, when they are older they will not depart from it! Thank you Lord for your word and our children!

Until next time…be encouraged!

Praying For Your Children

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Remember how I was talking about how I was talking about how important it was to pray for your spouse? Well, it is just as important to pray for your children. The other day on the radio station, parents were sharing how they liked to pray for your children.

One parent admitted that her and her husband prayed and prayed for a child. Finally after they had their child, they quit praying for their child. Often times, we forget to pray for our children. But it’s important to pray for your children, pray over their day and over their lives!

I’m challenging parents who are reading this blog post to begin praying for your children! Several things to pray over:

A hedge of protection over their day- If you turn the news on, you will hear of the violence and cruel world we are living in. It’s important to pray over our children’s day and over their protection while they aren’t in our care. Pray over protection over their school and everyone that they pass along the halls. Pray for their health! begin thanking God that they are healthy!

For Decisions They May Make– The older our children become, the more decisions they will be faced with–as well as peer pressure that they will have to face! Begin to pray over your children and the decisions that they will make. Pray that if they ever face any peer-pressure that they will know and be brave enough to stand up against it.

That Their Lights Will Shine– Every day, I pray that my children will let their lights shine for the Lord. I have taught my children who God is and only pray that they will let their lights shine. I realize that not all of their friends will have the same beliefs as they will, but I pray that they will be smart with choosing their friends. And that if they have any friends with different beliefs, that they will rub off on their friends instead of their friends rubbing off on them.

For The People In Their Lives– I think this is important. I pray that my children will make good decisions with their friends. Call me crazy, I even pray for my children’s future spouses. I pray that they will be smart with the people that they allow into their lives. I pray for the teachers that are teaching my children.

It’s an important thing to to pray for your children. I hope that this encourages you to pray for your children!

Lord, I pray that as we pray for our children, we will become closer to our children. On the days we don’t know what to pray for our children, I pray that you show us how to pray for our children and what to pray for our children. I pray that you will hear and honor our prayers as it fits your will!

Until next time…be encouraged!!!

The Importance of Spending Time With Your Kids

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As kids get older, they really don’t want to “hang out.” But, we have something in our house called “parent dates” and “family dates.” I mentioned in the marriage section how important it was to date our spouse and spend time with our spouses, but it is also so important to gain relationships and become close to our children as well!
I have really liked the idea of the Daddy/Daughter Mom/Son dates, but we just do something like taking the kids out to eat. On the weekend, we will rent movies. And I will go ahead and admit, we have good intentions on spending more time with our children and buy board games, ect, but sometimes lives get busy. Our children, the older they get, they attend extracurricular activities, church events, friends, ect. But, we try to have talks with our children. We were good with eating at the table and spending at least 30 minutes without television, laptops, and cell phones, but weeknights are crazy so we try to eat at the table at least once on the weekend and if it’s possible, during the week. We have back yard time, where we go outside and enjoy our backyard and talk with the kids. I thought that the oldest would be the worse with this time, but to our surprise, he loves backyard time!
With all the busy going on, schedule if you must, to make time with your whole family! Make time for your kids. Take them on family dates, and by the way, you don’t always have to spend money on dates! Go to the park, to the lake, go grab and ice cream, or look for freebie things to do!
This week, I challenge you to spend time with your children doing something! No griping, no arguing, but really connecting with them.
Lord, spending time with each other is so important for the important relationships in our lives. Lord, please help us to make special time to spend with our kids. Help us to connect with our kids and build lifelong relationships! On our dates, help us to make special memories that we will never forget!

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Until next time…be encouraged!!!!

Are You Appreciating Your Spouse?

There was a time during our marriage where I absolutely did not appreciate my husband. As a matter of fact, I took everything he did for granted. Looking back now, I sometimes wonder if maybe I would have appreciated him more, maybe then he would know how much I respected and loved him. Looking back now, I wonder why I didn’t show him how much I loved him or appreciated him.

My husband has always worked very hard for our family. He has always loved to cook for the family. He has never been a selfish person. I might have could said a lot of things about him, but selfish was not one of them. Now that I realize how much I took for granted and looking around, I realize how much a lot of people take for granted in their marriage.

I believe marriages would start being built up if people started respecting and appreciating their spouses. So, the big question..do you appreciate your spouse? There are many different ways that you can show your spouse appreciation, even when you think that they don’t deserve it

Each day, try your best to tell your spouse something that you appreciate them doing–even if it is simply just appreciating them just going to work and trying to provide for the family. When is the blast time you actually verbally expressed your appreciation for your spouse and something that they did?

My challenge for you this week is to tell your spouse something that you really appreciate n, tell them that they are a stepdad to your children, tell them that you appreciate them taking on the Father role. If you could make up your mind to tell your spouse something each day, or ever other day this week, something that you appreciate about them, you never know, it could make all the difference in the world.

When we don’t feel appreciated in our marriage, we start feeling worthless. We start feeling unloved, and that is never a good place to be in a marriage. When we don’t feel appreciated, we have an enemy who loves to have a field day and tell us lies. So, make sure that your spouse knows how much you love them each and every day and make sure that they know how much you appreciate them!

Lord, sometimes, when we are going through hectic times in our marriage, we forget to appreciate the things that our spouse is actually doing in our lives instead of the negative things that they are doing in your marriage. Help our spouses to see that we are trying to appreciate them and build our marriages off! Help us as we are trying ot build our marriages! Restore our marriages, Lord!

Until next time…be encouraged!!!!!!

 

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Hope for the Separated Couples

In a way, I do have to give some respect to those who choose separation rather than just hopping right into getting a divorce. I am not saying that separation is necessarily a good thing, but I believe that divorce can be better than divorce. Granted, separating can be hard on families. I have been on both sides of separation. I have been¬† child and my parents separating over and over again, and I have even separated from my husband once in our marriage, but played the “I am leaving you” game plenty of times.

I think some couples get a couple of things confused when they decide to separate. If you are separated from your spouse at this time, or you have talked about separating, make sure that you are understanding what you are doing, and if you have children, make sure that you realize that they may react negatively towards your decision.

After my youngest child was born, I suffered from PPD (Post Partum Depression) and like I had described before, my husband and and I had been completely disconnected for a long time. I was suffering from depression and he was so busy working to make ends meet and we were just distant. We were constantly arguing and it was just a really rough time in our marriage. Our kids were young and we had a newborn and we thought that it would be best to separate. One of the things that we didn’t consider was how the kids would react. We didn’t talk to the kids or explain anything, I just up and left with the kids! It was during the summer time so I made it like a summer vacation…without Dad! The kids started acting out. I was even more depressed trying to juggle everything together. When we did talk, we threw around divorce a lot. That is just some of our story!

Some things to consider or think about before or if you are currently separated:

  • Your children- If you are constantly fighting, then yes, maybe it is time for a little break. But, sometimes it is good to let your children know that marriages aren’t perfect. I used to have it in my mind that my children would always see my marriage as perfect and no fighting! But, if we never allow our children to see us argue sometimes, then aren’t we setting them up for disappointment? Think about some of the things your children might go through if you were to separate. The changes that it would make in their lives.
  • What exactly is separation- A lot of people separate and they think that they can immediately take off their wedding rings and are single. Separation is to HELP your marriage, not to make it worse. When you are separated, it doesn’t mean you are divorced or single–it means that you are taking time away from your spouse (with hopes of working things out) and you are working on your marriage.
  • ¬†Keeping contact with your spouse while you are separated- Sometimes it is good to keep in contact with your spouse. If you are thinking of any hopes or futures with your spouse, keep all contact positive. Meet up for a date for just the two of you! Send cute text messages! Send her flowers! Don’t waste your time grooming for a relationship that isn’t with your spouse…put the effort into working on the marriage that you already have! Work on forgiving! Get in church and really seek God during this time!

It is crazy how people will get separated and start sleeping around with other people and making relationships with them. It’s “play” time. I don’t think that’s what separation is about.

Lord, I pray for all the couples are going through separation. I pray that couples start realizing how valuable their marriage is. I pray that you open the eyes of the ones that are separated. I pray that all communication is not negative but positive communication. I pray that you will restore marriages that don’t feel like they have any hope! I pray for all marriages!

Until next time… be encouraged!

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