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Who’s in Your Profile Picture?

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I’ve picked my brain for several days trying to figure out what I wanted to write about. I would start a post and then wouldn’t ‘feel right’ about what I posted. Everything I post, I want God to be a part of it. I know I talk a lot about Social Media and being careful on how you present yourself. What you put on Social Media reflects parts of your life. What are you showing the World?

While my husband and I were going through some of the hardest seasons of our lives, I am sure if people on our social media sites poked around enough, they would see that we were going through hard times. You notice a lot just by song lyrics, single pictures, promiscuous looking pictures, quotes, ect… I know that when I was having trouble with my marriage, I would have pictures of just me and the kids because 1) I wasn’t spending enough time with my spouse. 2) I didn’t want to post pictures of him. (not because I was looking for anything outside of my marriage, but just because I was fed up..) 3) He wasn’t posting things about us, so I wasn’t posting things about us.

When my husband and I had our big revelation in our marriage over a year ago, I realized how much of my life I shared on social media, and how many pictures I didn’t capture of us! One day, my husband was looking for a picture of himself and asked me…I searched my phone that I had been using for 2 years and found 4 pictures of my husband! This made me sad..

I’m not trying to shoot down people that just have themselves on their profile pictures…that’s okay. You were having a good makeup and hair day or you’ve gained a lot of muscles so you want to post it and brag. That’s okay. All I am saying is..watch what you put on Social Media. What we post on Social Media truly defines us. It’s okay to post all these things from time to time, but be sure to post positive things about your marriage as well. BE SURE TO NEVER POST ANYTHING ON SOCIAL MEDIA THAT SHOOTS YOUR SPOUSE DOWN OR DEGRADES YOUR SPOUSE….I DON’T CARE HOW BIG A’ PIECE CRAP YOU THINK THEY ARE. CALLING THEM OUT ON FACEBOOK NOT ONLY SHOWS THE WORLD YOU ARE HAVING PROBLEMS, BUT IT SHOWS YOUR TRUE CHARACTER AS WELL! REMEMBER THAT!

If you are having a hard time in your relationship, don’t make it obvious by posting obvious things on your page that will get the attention of others. Sometimes, like in my case, I didn’t realize until AFTER THE FACT that I was doing it. So, I wanted to write on it..

If you post single pictures- and you are doing it for attention of the opposite sex. You might want to check yourself.

If you post picture of yourself- and you are getting more likes from the opposite sex and one of those likes from the opposite sex isn’t from your spouse. You might want to check yourself.

If you are putting pictures of yourself- without shirt, low cut shirts, bikinis, and making obvious that you have nothing to do with your spouse.. you might want to check yourself.

If you are liking pictures of the opposite sex- and you are in a committed relationship or married…you might want to check yourself.

Maybe your spouse hates taking pictures. Make it a point to WANT to take a picture with them. Just because your marriage is going through a hard time don’t let that define your whole marriage. Make your spouse feel good by posting a picture of your wedding day, a special day or your anniversary! Post a picture of your family or better yet, post a picture of just your spouse. This will make your spouse feel valued and special. If you are having a hard time in your marriage, this doesn’t mean that you need to find a temporary fix with someone else or that you need to start looking for a back-up plan just in case your marriage don’t work out.

Lord, Social Media can be a great place to keep up with friends and family, but it can also be used as a huge marriage trap. It can destroy marriage and us not even be aware of it. Lord, let us have the eyes to see and help us to be on guard. Lord, help us to be smart about the things that we post on Social Media sites. Help us by strengthening our marriage and giving us a refreshment in our marriage.

Until next time….be encouraged.

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Suicide Awareness

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Through my lifetime, I have had a handful of people that I have known to commit suicide. I had known of several people committing suicide while I was growing up and then since I have been an adult, several more people that I’ve known have committed suicide as well.

You turn on the news, you search the internet, and you just get on a social media site and you will see the statistics for suicide. Huffington Post writes

Each year, 34,000 people committ suicide, about twice as many deaths as caused by homicide– abot one death per 15 minutes. By 2030, depression will outpace cancer, stroke, war and accidents as the world’s leading cause of disability and death, according to the World Health Organization.”

How awful is that piece of information? I lost a friend here recently. She was a mother that left behind her children. She was a daughter. I see the sad posts almost everyday that her mother posts about losing her daughter. She admits that she knew nothing was wrong with her daughter. I attended that visitation and it was quite challenging to say the least. Her parents weren’t able to speak at the funeral, but one of her siblings did. Her older brother mentioned that he knew that his sister was suffering a little, but thought it was normal. Her husband had cheated on her a couple months before and ended up leaving her and the children. He said that his sister spend so many hours scrolling through Facebook. He challenged the people who attended the funeral and that had a Facebook account to post at least once a week something positive…something that if someone on the verge of committing suicide was to be reading your post, it would make them change their minds–that it would give them a ray of hope.

I know some of my reader’s don’t believe in God or an enemy, but I do. I have shared the scripture before John 10:10, that we do have an enemy that comes to steal, kill and destroy. But God comes to give us life–so that we may live it more abundantly.

We pass people daily. How many are suffering? How many people are going through something? How many have though about ending their lives because it would “be better?” I have suffered from depression, and sometimes I find myself and think that there is no way out of it. But there is. I make sure to talk to my husband and let him know.

If you or someone you know suffer from depression, talk to someone. Don’t be like me and have several friends on Facebook that have committed suicide and have to read about it in your newsfeed. Everyone is fighting a battle–some may not even allow people to know. Reach out and be kind.

CHALLENGE: In honor of my friend, I challenge my readers to post something often on their social media pages something positive or the suicide hotline number! You might save someone’s life.

Lord God, I pray for those people out there that are hurting. Let us me more aware of the enemies attack’s, especially when the enemy throws up to us that we need to end our own lives. Help us to be courageous and not be scared to reach out to someone if we are hurting and depressed. Lord, I pray that we would be more aware–give us the eyes to see– people that deal with depression! Help us to be aware of the signs! In Jesus’ name!

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1 (800) 273-8255

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Sexting- Talk About IT With Your Kids!

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blogcell

I don’t fully understand why parents get so weird about talking to their child about sex. It is something of this world and they should know about it! I was a teenage parent, and I let my children and stepchildren know how hard it was and how I got there! I tell them that I hope that they don’t take the same path that I did. But, since I was a teenager, there is a popular thing that has surfaced between tweens (yes 11 and 12 year olds too) and teenagers…..SEXTING!
Most parents can put two and two together and figure out what sexting is. Most of it starts out as harmless texting, then comes pictures and then comes sexting! A lot of kids these days are pressured into this. Nothing has changed since you and I were teenagers. They still pull the, “If you love me you will send me a picture..” “You don’t even have to have your face in the picture…” “I will delete it once you send it..” “Nobody will see it but me..” Can you see where I’m going?
So, why is it important to talk to your tweens/teens about sexting and why it is inappropriate, disrespectful, and not classy? Teenagers should know limits. I can’t say this enough. Have limits for your children, especially on the phones! If your child has a phone and has any interest in the opposite sex, it’s time to have the up-to-date birds and bees talk.
How to be an active parent:
Talk to your son/daughter- I can not say it enough about how important it is to have a close relationship with your children! Talk to them about respecting the opposite sex! If you have a daughter, teach her to value her body and demand respect when it comes to her body. Teach her the meaning of having value and respect for her body. If you have a son, teach him how to respect himself. Often boys grow up thinking their privates are the greatest thing ever! Make sure your son doesn’t grow up with this mentality! If you don’t have serious conversations about this particular topic, your son might have this mentality!! It’s good to talk to your children about the dangers or sexting and how it can ruin their reputation!
Dads need to be involved- Having a male figure in your child’s life that is actively involved is crucial! Especially during the times that they are teenagers! Girls need a male role model to be in their lives to show them how men should treat women. Boy should have a male role model so they will know how to treat women. Girl’s should never be downgraded by being asked for a nude or very private picture. Men can be good at teaching both guys and girls this!
Monitor your children- I know some people might disagree with me, but children need limits! Check up on your child! If you ever suspect your child is going through anything different in their lives, or if your child has a boyfriend/girlfriend, it is always good to monitor their social media accounts and text messages!
Lord, we ask you to teach us how to parent during this rough time in our child’s life. It seems like daily they are faced with “the new thing.” Help us and guide us on how to be the best parents that we can be. Lord, we ask you to guide our children and the decisions that they make. Help them and give them strength and wisdom during their times where they feel peer pressure.
Until next time…be encouraged!!!

Social Media=Playground for Affairs

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When Social Media starts creeping in on your marriage!

I saw a post the other day that said, “Welcome to Facebook: Where people think your status is about them, people add you but will never talk to you in public, affair are started and your enemies visit your profile the most!” Now, how true is this! Statistics show that over 80% of divorce attorneys mention or have proof that affairs have been started via social media. How scary are those statistics?

If you just spend a couple minutes on a social media site, you will most likely see a married man or woman and them posting a picture of themselves and someone of the opposite sex liking their pictures. Affairs start with just one click and we need to be more aware of how to affair proof our marriage!!!

You might be reading this and thinking, I don’t think my husband or I would ever have an affair! But it can happen to anyone if you are not careful! A lady friend of mine recently was sharing with me how she began her affair with just a single click of a button! She and this particular guy started out by working together, becoming Facebook friends, liking each others pictures, commenting more on each others things, and striking and interest in each other. The more they began to talk, the more interesting things became. She shared things on Facebook that lead people to believe she was having trouble, so the guy would question her about it. That’s how they began their emotional affair!

Facebook isn’t bad. Posting pictures without your spouse isn’t bad. Making comments on other people’s posts aren’t bad. But, when you are having a hard time in your marriage, it can become tempting to post pictures of yourself and try to find attention from other people. There are many different ways to “affair-proof” your marriage when it comes to social media.

  • Do not ever talk bad about your marriage or your spouse on social media! People post about their crappy marriages or how screwed up their spouses are and they are just looking for people to talk to them about their problems. When we expose that our marriage is bad or that we aren’t happy with our spouses, we leave doors open for the opposite sex to come in and talk to us about our marriage and spouse. Of course, at first it may seem harmless but whether social media is involved or not, you should never talk to the opposite sex about your marriage or spouse.
  • Do not post pictures of yourself too much if you are noticing someone of the opposite sex liking it too much. Push for more pictures posted of you and your spouse. Sometimes when we think our spouse’s aren’t happy with us, we become self-conscious and begin looking for attention elsewhere. Trust me, social media is not the place to get the attention you are looking for!
  • Do not start private conversations with the opposite sex that you wouldn’t want their spouse’s seeing. I know you are awake, can’t sleep and so and so is on, what will it hurt to message them and just say “Hey?” Do not be private in your messages. And if someone private messages you of the opposite sex, be open with your spouse to tell them about it. When you start keeping secrets is when there are issues!
  • Don’t seem interested in a person from the opposite sex! Be careful of the things that you comment on, like, and how your actions could mislead someone of the opposite sex. It may seem harmless to you, but to them, they might not be getting the attention they want so what you are giving them by “liking” their pictures or commenting on their things might just be the attention that they need!

So many times, we don’t realize how we act when we are “in the act.” Be aware of what you do on social media. Be open with your spouse about your social media. Go each day with thinking, “If my spouse were to get on my social media, would I have some explaining to do?” And, if social media has been an issue in your marriage, then respect your spouse. Many couples have joint accounts or share passwords, and some marriages are comfortable enough not sharing accounts or knowing each others passwords.

Let’s pray. Lord, I pray for couples that are on social media. Lord, give us wisdom and show us what is smart and what is not. Help us to realize when we are going to far with the pictures that we post or the pictures we like. Help us to use social media for the good and not the bad. Help us to see when the enemy wants to use social media as a trap. Help us to be aware of everything going on through social media.

Please share, pin, e-mail or reblog this post!

Until next time…be encouraged!

How social media almost ruined my marriage!

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So, yesterday I was explaining how much I hate how people are so sucked into their phones that they can’t and aren’t enjoying their life! I also mentioned that I too, have fallen into this trap of being on my phone constantly.

When the new iPhone 3g came out, my husband bought us both one. I was so memorized at how much the world was at my fingertips. I slept with my phone by bed and when I’d have trouble sleeping, I’d get on Facebook…and post about it!!!

My husband was still going through college and taking classes, so that left me more time to myself. I guess I wanted interaction, so the more “friends” I had, the better! Before I knew it, my world revolved around what Facebook had to say, watering my virtual farm, and whatever else I could get into! As long as it “gave me something to do” I was good, but had no idea that it would really take hold of my life!

Several years ago, maybe 3 or 4, my husband I separated for several months.  The reason being me not showing him enough attention while he was around. I was slacking on my house, mom, wife responsibilities…and I wasn’t caring. It was several months apart..and even when we had made the decision to “stick it out,” I still struggled with always checking my phone! Looking back, I also realized that constantly checking to see what other people were doing was making me depressed. I was seeing couples that were “getting along” and had the “perfect marriage” on the computer screen. I also noticed as Facebook got to be so popular how people started sharing more and more of their business on there and how people started getting more an more into other people’s business.

It wasn’t until after many arguments over how involved I was with my phone and a huge turn-around in our marriage did I start realizing how much my stupid phone had a hold of me. I was looking for an outlet, and I surely found one. Looking back on how I was, I really can’t believe how much I was addicted to being on my phone. I had to check in every where and the Time Hop app constantly reminds me at how much useless, meaningless things I used to share on Facebook….that nobody cared about reading about.

Maybe you aren’t as into your phone as I was, but I’m just wanting to encourage people and let them know that it isn’t all about what is on Facebook. Actually, there are probably things that would do you good not to see on Facebook. There is a whole big world out there the people are missing because they are chasing the virtual one on their phones. I’ve seen and heard of a lot of fights that couples have because they are tying to beat the next level in Candy Crush Saga or trying to see what has recently been posted on Facebook. Don’t be the person that has to be on their phones constantly, especially when your loved ones are wanting time with just you. Put your phones down, I know you are bored and waiting on the waitress to bring your food, but your husband is there…talk to him! I know the dentist is taking forever, but your kids are there in the waiting room..ask them how their day has been. I know it’s a boring night and there is nothing on TV, but when is the last time you played outside with your kids? Pulled out their favorite board game?

I’m not trying to preach, but simply for people to enjoy life.

Until next time…be encouraged!

Enjoy your life…put down your electronics.

Ugh! There is nothing that bothers me most while on date night (other than hearing screaming kids while I’m on a break from my screaming kids) than seeing a couple that isn’t enjoying each other because they are so glued to their phones. And it’s not only husband and wives, but it is everyone. It seems like we can’t enjoy the life around us because we are living in a virtual world. Over the weekend, my husband and I went out to eat, and several tables that we passed, either one person or both of them were on their phones scrolling through their Facebook page not making any interaction with their spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend. It was sad….

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do love Facebook and Pinterest and seeing the latest pictures that so and so put on their Instagram account…BUT…I believe there is a time and place for being on your phones. I’m talking about wives not hearing a thing that their husbands are saying being they just can’t wait to see what “Lisa Jane” posted on her Facebook. We are deaf to what is going on around us because we are too busy pinning million dollar houses that we will never live in, and finding crafts that we want to do with our children..but never will because we can’t get off our phone. Moms are missing their kid’s big plays during the games because they are taking selfies of their “#1 Baseball Mom” t-shirts. There is a time and place, people. I’ve fallen into the social media trap, and even have to catch myself and get off because there is a life outside of Facebook…it will be there when you get some “me” time, but don’t miss your kids growing up, your spouse’s important words they are trying to express to you, or important events with your friends because you are on your phone.

I will talk about it later, but at one time my phone was more important than my family…and my family almost fell apart due to my lack of caring for what was going on on the outside of the useless thing I was holding on to. I’m trying to give you hope today! If your husband constantly is asking what you are doing on Facebook, there is a problem and he obviously wants to be part of your evening. Get off Facebook…. If your kids talk about how much you are always on your phone…look up and pay attention to what they are trying to tell you. You only get so many chances before your spouse gets tired of being ignored and your children are only young for a short amount of time. Also, as your children see you being sucked into the world of technology, they have no choice but to be sucked in as well. Trust me,I don’t think you want Disney, Facebook or Jay-Z raising your kids!

Share this so maybe someone will get off their phones!

Enjoy life…..put down your electronics. Seriously.

Until next time…be encouraged.