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Sexting- Talk About IT With Your Kids!

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blogcell

I don’t fully understand why parents get so weird about talking to their child about sex. It is something of this world and they should know about it! I was a teenage parent, and I let my children and stepchildren know how hard it was and how I got there! I tell them that I hope that they don’t take the same path that I did. But, since I was a teenager, there is a popular thing that has surfaced between tweens (yes 11 and 12 year olds too) and teenagers…..SEXTING!
Most parents can put two and two together and figure out what sexting is. Most of it starts out as harmless texting, then comes pictures and then comes sexting! A lot of kids these days are pressured into this. Nothing has changed since you and I were teenagers. They still pull the, “If you love me you will send me a picture..” “You don’t even have to have your face in the picture…” “I will delete it once you send it..” “Nobody will see it but me..” Can you see where I’m going?
So, why is it important to talk to your tweens/teens about sexting and why it is inappropriate, disrespectful, and not classy? Teenagers should know limits. I can’t say this enough. Have limits for your children, especially on the phones! If your child has a phone and has any interest in the opposite sex, it’s time to have the up-to-date birds and bees talk.
How to be an active parent:
Talk to your son/daughter- I can not say it enough about how important it is to have a close relationship with your children! Talk to them about respecting the opposite sex! If you have a daughter, teach her to value her body and demand respect when it comes to her body. Teach her the meaning of having value and respect for her body. If you have a son, teach him how to respect himself. Often boys grow up thinking their privates are the greatest thing ever! Make sure your son doesn’t grow up with this mentality! If you don’t have serious conversations about this particular topic, your son might have this mentality!! It’s good to talk to your children about the dangers or sexting and how it can ruin their reputation!
Dads need to be involved- Having a male figure in your child’s life that is actively involved is crucial! Especially during the times that they are teenagers! Girls need a male role model to be in their lives to show them how men should treat women. Boy should have a male role model so they will know how to treat women. Girl’s should never be downgraded by being asked for a nude or very private picture. Men can be good at teaching both guys and girls this!
Monitor your children- I know some people might disagree with me, but children need limits! Check up on your child! If you ever suspect your child is going through anything different in their lives, or if your child has a boyfriend/girlfriend, it is always good to monitor their social media accounts and text messages!
Lord, we ask you to teach us how to parent during this rough time in our child’s life. It seems like daily they are faced with “the new thing.” Help us and guide us on how to be the best parents that we can be. Lord, we ask you to guide our children and the decisions that they make. Help them and give them strength and wisdom during their times where they feel peer pressure.
Until next time…be encouraged!!!

How social media almost ruined my marriage!

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So, yesterday I was explaining how much I hate how people are so sucked into their phones that they can’t and aren’t enjoying their life! I also mentioned that I too, have fallen into this trap of being on my phone constantly.

When the new iPhone 3g came out, my husband bought us both one. I was so memorized at how much the world was at my fingertips. I slept with my phone by bed and when I’d have trouble sleeping, I’d get on Facebook…and post about it!!!

My husband was still going through college and taking classes, so that left me more time to myself. I guess I wanted interaction, so the more “friends” I had, the better! Before I knew it, my world revolved around what Facebook had to say, watering my virtual farm, and whatever else I could get into! As long as it “gave me something to do” I was good, but had no idea that it would really take hold of my life!

Several years ago, maybe 3 or 4, my husband I separated for several months.  The reason being me not showing him enough attention while he was around. I was slacking on my house, mom, wife responsibilities…and I wasn’t caring. It was several months apart..and even when we had made the decision to “stick it out,” I still struggled with always checking my phone! Looking back, I also realized that constantly checking to see what other people were doing was making me depressed. I was seeing couples that were “getting along” and had the “perfect marriage” on the computer screen. I also noticed as Facebook got to be so popular how people started sharing more and more of their business on there and how people started getting more an more into other people’s business.

It wasn’t until after many arguments over how involved I was with my phone and a huge turn-around in our marriage did I start realizing how much my stupid phone had a hold of me. I was looking for an outlet, and I surely found one. Looking back on how I was, I really can’t believe how much I was addicted to being on my phone. I had to check in every where and the Time Hop app constantly reminds me at how much useless, meaningless things I used to share on Facebook….that nobody cared about reading about.

Maybe you aren’t as into your phone as I was, but I’m just wanting to encourage people and let them know that it isn’t all about what is on Facebook. Actually, there are probably things that would do you good not to see on Facebook. There is a whole big world out there the people are missing because they are chasing the virtual one on their phones. I’ve seen and heard of a lot of fights that couples have because they are tying to beat the next level in Candy Crush Saga or trying to see what has recently been posted on Facebook. Don’t be the person that has to be on their phones constantly, especially when your loved ones are wanting time with just you. Put your phones down, I know you are bored and waiting on the waitress to bring your food, but your husband is there…talk to him! I know the dentist is taking forever, but your kids are there in the waiting room..ask them how their day has been. I know it’s a boring night and there is nothing on TV, but when is the last time you played outside with your kids? Pulled out their favorite board game?

I’m not trying to preach, but simply for people to enjoy life.

Until next time…be encouraged!

Enjoy your life…put down your electronics.

Ugh! There is nothing that bothers me most while on date night (other than hearing screaming kids while I’m on a break from my screaming kids) than seeing a couple that isn’t enjoying each other because they are so glued to their phones. And it’s not only husband and wives, but it is everyone. It seems like we can’t enjoy the life around us because we are living in a virtual world. Over the weekend, my husband and I went out to eat, and several tables that we passed, either one person or both of them were on their phones scrolling through their Facebook page not making any interaction with their spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend. It was sad….

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do love Facebook and Pinterest and seeing the latest pictures that so and so put on their Instagram account…BUT…I believe there is a time and place for being on your phones. I’m talking about wives not hearing a thing that their husbands are saying being they just can’t wait to see what “Lisa Jane” posted on her Facebook. We are deaf to what is going on around us because we are too busy pinning million dollar houses that we will never live in, and finding crafts that we want to do with our children..but never will because we can’t get off our phone. Moms are missing their kid’s big plays during the games because they are taking selfies of their “#1 Baseball Mom” t-shirts. There is a time and place, people. I’ve fallen into the social media trap, and even have to catch myself and get off because there is a life outside of Facebook…it will be there when you get some “me” time, but don’t miss your kids growing up, your spouse’s important words they are trying to express to you, or important events with your friends because you are on your phone.

I will talk about it later, but at one time my phone was more important than my family…and my family almost fell apart due to my lack of caring for what was going on on the outside of the useless thing I was holding on to. I’m trying to give you hope today! If your husband constantly is asking what you are doing on Facebook, there is a problem and he obviously wants to be part of your evening. Get off Facebook…. If your kids talk about how much you are always on your phone…look up and pay attention to what they are trying to tell you. You only get so many chances before your spouse gets tired of being ignored and your children are only young for a short amount of time. Also, as your children see you being sucked into the world of technology, they have no choice but to be sucked in as well. Trust me,I don’t think you want Disney, Facebook or Jay-Z raising your kids!

Share this so maybe someone will get off their phones!

Enjoy life…..put down your electronics. Seriously.

Until next time…be encouraged.