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Category Archives: Depression

Suicide Awareness

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Through my lifetime, I have had a handful of people that I have known to commit suicide. I had known of several people committing suicide while I was growing up and then since I have been an adult, several more people that I’ve known have committed suicide as well.

You turn on the news, you search the internet, and you just get on a social media site and you will see the statistics for suicide. Huffington Post writes

Each year, 34,000 people committ suicide, about twice as many deaths as caused by homicide– abot one death per 15 minutes. By 2030, depression will outpace cancer, stroke, war and accidents as the world’s leading cause of disability and death, according to the World Health Organization.”

How awful is that piece of information? I lost a friend here recently. She was a mother that left behind her children. She was a daughter. I see the sad posts almost everyday that her mother posts about losing her daughter. She admits that she knew nothing was wrong with her daughter. I attended that visitation and it was quite challenging to say the least. Her parents weren’t able to speak at the funeral, but one of her siblings did. Her older brother mentioned that he knew that his sister was suffering a little, but thought it was normal. Her husband had cheated on her a couple months before and ended up leaving her and the children. He said that his sister spend so many hours scrolling through Facebook. He challenged the people who attended the funeral and that had a Facebook account to post at least once a week something positive…something that if someone on the verge of committing suicide was to be reading your post, it would make them change their minds–that it would give them a ray of hope.

I know some of my reader’s don’t believe in God or an enemy, but I do. I have shared the scripture before John 10:10, that we do have an enemy that comes to steal, kill and destroy. But God comes to give us life–so that we may live it more abundantly.

We pass people daily. How many are suffering? How many people are going through something? How many have though about ending their lives because it would “be better?” I have suffered from depression, and sometimes I find myself and think that there is no way out of it. But there is. I make sure to talk to my husband and let him know.

If you or someone you know suffer from depression, talk to someone. Don’t be like me and have several friends on Facebook that have committed suicide and have to read about it in your newsfeed. Everyone is fighting a battle–some may not even allow people to know. Reach out and be kind.

CHALLENGE: In honor of my friend, I challenge my readers to post something often on their social media pages something positive or the suicide hotline number! You might save someone’s life.

Lord God, I pray for those people out there that are hurting. Let us me more aware of the enemies attack’s, especially when the enemy throws up to us that we need to end our own lives. Help us to be courageous and not be scared to reach out to someone if we are hurting and depressed. Lord, I pray that we would be more aware–give us the eyes to see– people that deal with depression! Help us to be aware of the signs! In Jesus’ name!

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1 (800) 273-8255

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Learning to Forgive After an Affair

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Unforgiveness is a prison that we get trapped in when someone that we love or really care for hurt us. It can take a significant amount of time to forgive someone after they hurt you, especially after they have cut you really deep. This blog post is talking about my struggle with forgiveness after I found out about my husband’s affair.

Before I found out about my husband’s affair, I talked and preached on forgiveness. I believed that you needed to forgive someone right away. I thought forgiveness was some easy thing, and when people would tell me about their hurts, I would tell them they needed to forgive that other person. It was a whole different story when it came to my situation though. Forgiving wasn’t as easy as preaching about it.

I didn’t know the other woman, although, for some strange reason, we were Facebook friends during the time she was talking to my husband. I knew nothing about her though. I think that was one thing that bothered me so much, is that a complete stranger had helped do so much damage in my marriage. I was convinced I hated her. I could not see her name without getting upset. I could not see her car without wanting to chase her down and harass her. I could not see an innocent post that she posted on Facebook without wanting to reveal to the world about who she “really was” and what she had done to me and my family.

I started searching for so many different things..praying God to heal me of my hurts..I wanted to just live a normal life and not have to worry about forgiveness. I thought since Facebook was bothering me so much seeing all her things being posted, that I would block her.  So, I guess you could say that I was just pushing it under the rug. I wanted it, but didn’t want to take the actions to get there. So anything to do with her made me mad all over again. Her and my husband work together and continued working at the same place and that would make me mad just knowing that they had the chance of running into one another. The more self conscious I got, the more worry came over me, the more angry I became!

My husband and I was at the store when we ran into her and her family one Sunday and it just rolled all over me.. I was mad and my husband had not even seen her. I made my husband pay for the affair that he had had 8 months prior to running into her. I was miserable. I was making my husband miserable. I wasn’t fulfilling my promise on doing my best to work on the marriage.

It wasn’t until almost  year after the affair, I was with my children at the store and saw her car in the parking lot. Instead of getting all riled up, I began to pray. I prayed that God would help me and help me to be prepared because it was a small store and I was most likely going to see  her. I just remember rushing through the store saying to myself, “Lord, help me..give me strength…thank you for healing me.” Sure enough, I passed the woman and I was able to successfully smile at her. I felt relieved. I felt that healing had started. I praised God.

I had unblocked her several months before running into her at the store because I felt that I wasn’t allowing myself to forgive by keeping her blocked. A couple of days ago, it came up in my newsfeed that she had “liked” something I said. It didn’t really bother me. I realized then, I was being healed even more.

Unforgiveness is like a prison. It took me almost a year to make up my mind to forgive her and deal with the problem. It was extremely hard for me because it was someone I shared a town with and would run into from time to time. It was someone my husband still shares the same employer with. Our children attend the same school. If I had to look back, I would have definitely done a lot of things differently, but I believe God has let me see this hard situation so I can minister and share my story with the world.

I can’t tell you how to forgive or how to take steps to forgiveness because I am sitting here still in disbelief that I have been able to come as far as I have. Especially after seeing some of my worst days. My advice, trust God. Ask Him. Remember how God has forgiven us and how bad we want to be forgiven. We sin and do wrong and expect to be forgiven, so I try to offer that same grace to others.

Let me pray for you. Lord, I know how hard it is to forgive someone that has done us wrong. Lord, show us how to forgive because it is our human nature to hate people that have done us wrong. Lord, show us grace and help us to show grace. Lord, thank you for restoring our marriages and giving us strength. We love you, Lord and we thank you!

“Not forgiving someone is like drinking the poison and expecting the other person to die.” Author Unknown

Like, Share, Pin this post and encourage someone who is trying to forgive after an affair! Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post as I give more encouragement on how to deal and get over our spouse’s having an affair!

Until next time…be encouraed!!

Social Media=Playground for Affairs

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When Social Media starts creeping in on your marriage!

I saw a post the other day that said, “Welcome to Facebook: Where people think your status is about them, people add you but will never talk to you in public, affair are started and your enemies visit your profile the most!” Now, how true is this! Statistics show that over 80% of divorce attorneys mention or have proof that affairs have been started via social media. How scary are those statistics?

If you just spend a couple minutes on a social media site, you will most likely see a married man or woman and them posting a picture of themselves and someone of the opposite sex liking their pictures. Affairs start with just one click and we need to be more aware of how to affair proof our marriage!!!

You might be reading this and thinking, I don’t think my husband or I would ever have an affair! But it can happen to anyone if you are not careful! A lady friend of mine recently was sharing with me how she began her affair with just a single click of a button! She and this particular guy started out by working together, becoming Facebook friends, liking each others pictures, commenting more on each others things, and striking and interest in each other. The more they began to talk, the more interesting things became. She shared things on Facebook that lead people to believe she was having trouble, so the guy would question her about it. That’s how they began their emotional affair!

Facebook isn’t bad. Posting pictures without your spouse isn’t bad. Making comments on other people’s posts aren’t bad. But, when you are having a hard time in your marriage, it can become tempting to post pictures of yourself and try to find attention from other people. There are many different ways to “affair-proof” your marriage when it comes to social media.

  • Do not ever talk bad about your marriage or your spouse on social media! People post about their crappy marriages or how screwed up their spouses are and they are just looking for people to talk to them about their problems. When we expose that our marriage is bad or that we aren’t happy with our spouses, we leave doors open for the opposite sex to come in and talk to us about our marriage and spouse. Of course, at first it may seem harmless but whether social media is involved or not, you should never talk to the opposite sex about your marriage or spouse.
  • Do not post pictures of yourself too much if you are noticing someone of the opposite sex liking it too much. Push for more pictures posted of you and your spouse. Sometimes when we think our spouse’s aren’t happy with us, we become self-conscious and begin looking for attention elsewhere. Trust me, social media is not the place to get the attention you are looking for!
  • Do not start private conversations with the opposite sex that you wouldn’t want their spouse’s seeing. I know you are awake, can’t sleep and so and so is on, what will it hurt to message them and just say “Hey?” Do not be private in your messages. And if someone private messages you of the opposite sex, be open with your spouse to tell them about it. When you start keeping secrets is when there are issues!
  • Don’t seem interested in a person from the opposite sex! Be careful of the things that you comment on, like, and how your actions could mislead someone of the opposite sex. It may seem harmless to you, but to them, they might not be getting the attention they want so what you are giving them by “liking” their pictures or commenting on their things might just be the attention that they need!

So many times, we don’t realize how we act when we are “in the act.” Be aware of what you do on social media. Be open with your spouse about your social media. Go each day with thinking, “If my spouse were to get on my social media, would I have some explaining to do?” And, if social media has been an issue in your marriage, then respect your spouse. Many couples have joint accounts or share passwords, and some marriages are comfortable enough not sharing accounts or knowing each others passwords.

Let’s pray. Lord, I pray for couples that are on social media. Lord, give us wisdom and show us what is smart and what is not. Help us to realize when we are going to far with the pictures that we post or the pictures we like. Help us to use social media for the good and not the bad. Help us to see when the enemy wants to use social media as a trap. Help us to be aware of everything going on through social media.

Please share, pin, e-mail or reblog this post!

Until next time…be encouraged!

50 Shades of My Marriage Sucks!

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It may be a little bit late to hop on this band wagon, but I do have a lot to say about this whole trend of 50 Shades of Grey. When I first heard about the books that were coming out, I was somewhat intrigued. My husband and I were separated, I thought I needed some romance in my life, but what did I know? I have never been a reader, and really didn’t care to spend money on a book that I was going to probably not finish anyways.

The trend of the books died down and then comes the movie. Every married, single, (it didn’t matter) lady was going to see this movie. Some were going to see the movie with their friends some were going to see the movie with their spouse. It was crazy to think some of these people were in the theaters watching this movie and then sitting in church the next morning.

I got to thinking how many men (with already pornography issues-maybe their wife/girlfriend is aware, maybe not) but how many men were triggered by this spicy, sexy movie? How many women have gotten themselves into pornography because they want more spicy in their marriage!

I have admitted, I have never read the books nor have I watched the movies. But, I do know what it is like to have a drought in the marriage. You get married, kids come along, you’re tired, you don’t really want to be intimate…but then again you know you should be and you want to be. It’s confusing being an adult, huh? But, back to the subject. I know marriages can go through periods and seasons where it is crappy. Sex is not the way it should be, communication is not good..so you argue, and marriages are torn apart!

People begin to turn to outlets when their marriages go down hill. They turn to pornography, technology, the flirty co-worker at the office. Things are thrown at marriages straight from the pit of Hell, and if our marriages is not going great 97% of the time, we will find an outlet to make us happy. And, let’s just be honest, a movie that is known to be about sex and spiciness, and a person who is wanting to see this type of movie or read this type of book is looking for something in their life!

Don’t get me wrong, I love sexy, but sexy should be kept in YOUR bedroom with YOUR spouse. A movie, a porno, a magazine, a book, an affair will only last for a season….then you will be looking for the next thing to get you excited in marriage. God created marriage and it is written in black and white in the Good Book..there are no shades of grey when it comes to God’s word and how he intended marriage to be.

I am not trying to judge anyone, but simply say, “Hey, I’ve been there!!” “I’ve looked for outlets in my marriage and THANK GOD it didn’t lead to enough destruction that is destroyed my marriage!” God loves you, and He loves your marriage. I truly believe if we ask Him how to spice up our marriage, He will give us the desire and wisdom and it will be something of Him.

If you have an issue with your marriage, and have been looking for an outlet or have found an “outlet” I just want to pray for you–

Lord God, I know that marriage is hard and that we go through so many droughts in our marriage–droughts in our bedroom. Lord, the World tries to throw these outlets at us, but God I pray that we recognize them and choose to turn to you on how to fix our marriage. Let our outlet be You, Lord! Lord, I pray that any man or woman that deals with addiction to pornography or anyone who uses pornography to satisfy their needs be healed. I pray that us that are in relationships and married, that we turn to you!

Until next time….be encouraged!

Today’s Marriage

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This is the month we face the topic of marriage!

More than 50% of the people who get married end their marriage in divorce. Most of the people who get divorced get divorced before spending their 5 year anniversary with one another. How awful are those statistics? Why can’t we make our marriages work? Why don’t we fight for our marriages anymore? Why do we give up so easily?

There are many things that come between a husband and wife: they realize they didn’t marry the people they fell in love with, kids come between marriage, work gets the best of our time with our spouses, finances become an issue, our spouse’s are unfaithful…CHANGE HAPPENS! This month, we are going to talk about changes that happen during a marriage and how to deal with these changes. I am going to visit the most common problems of a marriage each day in April.

I will be sharing some of my experiences and stories through this month. This is one of the reasons why I decided to start this blog. I was having a hard time in my marriage and I was searching for some sort of hope for my marriage. I wanted to to read that my marriage could make it and I could find very little encouragement on marriages that actually ‘work’ these days.

Can this blog fix your marriage? No. It is going to take work between you and your spouse. Can this blog encourage you? Yes! I hope that this blog encourages so many people that are hurting, that are broken and that need hope.

Stayed tuned during this month for encouragement for April! Looking for a particular topic? Check out topics on the right side of the page!

Until next time….be encouraged!

What Are You Saying?

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To be honest, one thing about me is that when something happens in my life, something major, I instantly go into panic, worry, freak-out mode. I begin to think negative thoughts and even sometimes speak negatively. The song by Toby Mac, “Speak Life,” has really been on my heart over the past couple days as I’ve been wondering and asking God ideas on what to blog about.

This past year has been really hard. My husband and I have had an awful “bump” in our marriage, I’ve lost people that I love, I’ve had to make hard decisions, I’ve been negative about the things that I’ve went through. I will speak more on marriage things, but without saying to much, I didn’t know if my marriage would make it this past year. Throughout this year, I told myself negative things like, “I can’t do this,” “My marriage will never work,” “My marriage will never be the same,” “Maybe divorce is the answer.”

One day, I heard a friend, who too was having a hard time in their marriage, speak the same exact things that I had been speaking about mine. My friend had went through similar things in their marriage. They didn’t know if it would work, how it could work and maybe that divorce was the way to go. Instead of agreeing, I gave them the scripture that talks about how life and death is in the power of the tongue. It was then I realized that I was a negative person. I have always doubted what I was capable of doing.

Your issue doesn’t have to be necessarily marriage. If you just listen and pay attention to yourself and to other people, you will notice how many people and how many times that we speak so negative about situations that we are dealing with. “I will never lose this weight” “I will never get that job” “I will never finish all this work in time” “My kid will never sleep through the night” “Why work on my marriage, it will never change.” We don’t notice, but we speak death into situations all the time.

I am still working to speak life into situations, and as Toby Mac puts it, “Speak life, into the deadest, darkest night.” We might not see how in the world God is going to work things out, but we’ve got to trust Him. We’ve got to speak life into every negative, hard, depressing, situation that we face. I challenge you to speak life into something, or if you notice someone that is speaking death into a situation, encourage them to speak life. Be positive! Don’t give up! Never lose faith! Hold on to hope!

Until next time…be encouraged.

How to Fix the Brokeness Around Us.

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In a “perfect” world, everyone will get along with each other, marriages would last forever, children would be respectful and full of joy, people would always be financially stable, and there would be absolutely no worry in the world. Unfortunately, we actually live in the complete opposite. The world we live in is full of hatred, marriages are treated like pieces of clothing (if it doesn’t work for you, you take it back and exchange it for something new), children are plotting to kill their parents and to kill themselves, people are losing their jobs and becoming homeless, and there is worry and fear all around us.

Think about how many people we come in contact with per day. Think of how many people we pass in Target, our waitresses at the restaurant, our friends on social media. We pass brokenness everyday…but what do we do about it? I have been guilty of seeing things, especially on social media, that I haven’t done anything about. I kept…and still from time to time keep the mentality that “I can’t help anyone” or “God can’t use me” but God has created and qualified us to do something about the brokenness around us.

A couple of years ago while I was in the store, I was standing behind a lady who smelled of alcohol. Smelling of alcohol at 8 in the morning can never be good. She had a tear stained face. I wish I would have had the nerve to just ask her if I could pray for her. What was the worst she could have said? I let my fear get the best of me, and never asked her or struck up a conversation with her. Soon after, I saw on Pinterest about how people would do things to make someone’s day. I began to pray for God to show me how I could brighten or encourage someone’s day. One day, I was in the Dollar Store, and I saw these bright, funky, little cards that was blank inside. I bought several packages of these blank cards. I kept a stack of cards in my house and a stack of cards in my purse. When I felt encouraging words come on, I would write a letter to someone. I would tell them how special they were. I would tell them that it doesn’t matter what their past looked like, that God could turn their future around. I would basically write things and imagine that I was talking to a stranger that just needed some encouragement.  I would pass out these cards everywhere. I would leave them in the bathroom stalls, hand them to the person in the pay line at McDonald’s, leave them at gas pumps and at the car wash. I would pray that the right person would find them. This was my way of encouraging a stranger.

I have different people say that they try to bless the car behind them by paying for their lunch. I have people that say they have made it a point to smile at people they pass, or give them a compliment. There are many different ways we can make this broken world that we live in less broken. Will you help me in the Encourage Movement? I challenge you to try to bless someone this week. If you don’t know how, pray that God will give you your own idea. If you need encouragement yourself, I have a prayer request section at the top of the page or you can always e-mail me!

Pray for me and this blog! I want people to see it and to be encouraged! I want to make a difference in someone’s life. Share, pin, or e-mail this post!

Until next time….be encouraged!