Making up your mind that your marriage will not fail!
Have you and your spouse ever thrown up the “D” word? Yeah, I am talking about divorce. A lot of couples, in their marriages have. If you are a couple that hasn’t, then that is great! You see, we live in a world where is our marriages aren’t working, then we can just get a divorce. You are encouraged to get a divorce. It isn’t looked down on anymore. The world just doesn’t see marriage as something to be taken seriously or something that is supposed to be valued.
Before I even thought about getting married, I had it in my mind that if I was going to get married, then I wanted it to be a marriage that lasted forever! When thinking of divorce, it never was a pleasant, easy fix to a sucky marriage. Divorce was awful to me. Divorce was something that broke up families and I never wanted my family to be torn apart.
Our first year of marriage was complete chaos. Ha! Looking back on the “young girl” I was. I had no idea how to be a wife. We argued over the things that really shouldn’t be a big deal. Things like, how to cook the supper properly, folding his jeans the correct way, paying the bills on the correct day. I know what you are thinking! I was a mess and I will admit it! I don’t know how many times my mother came to my house and gave me the lecture on how to be a wife! Anyway, we argued…a lot! And, it wasn’t long after we had married, we had a huge knock-down, drag-out fight and I threw my wedding ring at him. I didn’t want to be married anymore. I wanted a divorce. This was an open door..and it wasn’t the kind that Elsa and Anna sing about.
After we opened the door and spoke of divorce, that became our default. We would have huge arguments, and we would just “get divorced” to fix things! But, in reality, we never got divorced, nor ever even went forward with filing for divorce…ever! We just liked to bring it up that that’s what would happen if we didn’t straighten up and get out of the stupid argument we were in! I know, it’s dumb, right?
After a marriage conference we attended about a year ago, the speaker said to never bring up divorce unless that’s what we truly wanted. We both felt like it was really speaking to us. We never wanted to lose each other, but on the other hand, we didn’t know how to fix our problems, so the “We’ll just get a divorce,” became our default. Even after our worse issues in our marriage, it still comes creeping into my mind that, “maybe he and I would be better apart.” “Maybe like would be easier.” Although I don’t voice that I want a divorce, or even want to use the word, the enemy plants thoughts that we should leave one another.
Is your marriage like this? Have you had thoughts like this? Do you want a divorce? Do you really want to go through that? If you truly love your spouse and they love you, then make up your mind that your marriage is not going to fail. Make up your mind that you and your spouse will NEVER mention the word divorce unless it is something that you two are truly prepared to go through. When you are having times where you thing that you would rather be divorced, or maybe that you and your spouse should end it– really spend some time in prayer. Don’t keep agitating your spouse. Get to yourself, pray, think, and fix the problem. The truth of the matter is, when people “seriously get married” and I say it that way because some people go through with getting married with the attitude, “if it don’t work, we’ll get a divorce!” If you were not that person, then seriously, work on it. Make up your mind TODAY that your marriage will not EVER fail.
Lord, I pray for marriages that often have arguments and bring up the “D” word. I pray that they learn to control themselves and communicate with each other in a way that won’t offend each other. I pray that they choose their words wisely and that while they are speaking to their spouse, their ears will be open and they will think about what they are saying. I pray that marriages start feeling closer to one another. That divorce will never be the answer. I pray that couples that are talking about marriage are serious about it and never go into their marriage with divorce on their minds.Help us, Lord, and guide us! In Your name we pray! Amen!
Until next time…be encouraged!