Getting back to Butterflies and Fireworks in Our Marriage
Do you remember when you and your spouse first met? How they made you feel? What about the where you two had your first kiss? What you did on your first dates? Thinking back, what have been your most special memories that you have made with your spouse? Looking back on all these memories, think about what has happened to get you away from what you two were back then. What does happen to us that makes us become disconnected from our spouse? Why do we come to a point in our relationship and start thinking, “that person is not the same person I married” or “what happened to our marriage?”
When we are dating, things are fun. We are spontaneous. We can’t wait to hear from our spouses. We don’t really have any responsibilities in the dating stage, only that we are to be madly, crazy, in love with our spouses! So what takes away madly, crazy in love from us? Life. We get married, and the responsibility of work, bills, housework, kids, ect. happen.
Ladies, we get stressed about raising kids, what’s for supper, “will I ever get laundry caught up?” “is today soccer practice or t-ball?” The list goes on. It seems like our minds never rest. We get so caught up in life that we forget to make time for our spouses. We begin to lose those butterflies and fireworks that we once had when we were dating or first married.
Guys, sometimes has issues with growing up. Or they are working to make ends meet for the family. Maybe they are busy and they get caught up in life that they forget to make time for their wives. Either way, life gets in the way of men and women everyday and we lose focus of the people that we were dating!
Maybe you have a desire to get back to THOSE people that you once were. Maybe you have thoughts that you could never become those people again because too much has happened in your marriage. Maybe you feel that you are just going through the motions of your marriage and barely hanging on. You might not be thinking of divorce or see any threats to your marriage, but you definitely know that you weren’t the same people that you were.
So! Getting back to the basics! There are some things that I would like to challenge you to do this week!
Make a date for your spouse! If you can’t find a babysitter, don’t sweat it. Maybe you can put the kids to bed 15 minutes earlier than usual and take that 16 minutes to talk to your spouse about how their week is going, what’s been going on at the workplace, make plans with them. If nothing else, make a point to hold hands, steal a kiss, and say that you love them. If you have older kids, let them pick out a movie and allow them to have a “kid’s date” while you and your spouse have a “grown-up date.” If you score and get a babysitter, make plans to do something you and your spouse enjoy or enjoyed when you were dating. MAKE TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE THIS WEEK!
TALK,TEXT,LOVE! Make time everyday this week to text your spouse. Text them things like, “Hey baby, I love you.” “Hey, I thought you were so hot this morning!” “Hey, I miss you today!” “Hey, I can’t wait until our date!!” Find time in your busy day to call or text your spouse to let them know you are thinking of them. **Don’t get your feelings hurt if they are busy or if they don’t seem to recognize it, because believe it or not, it means something to them.** If they are grumpy about you contacting them, maybe they aren’t used to this treatment, so they don’t know how to act. Maybe they are bitter about how your marriage has gone downhill. But, hopefully, it makes them feel special!
Pick something special this week! Find something to do for your spouse this week that will make them feel special, something that you normally wouldn’t do. Get a sticky note and leave them a sweet note, get a dry erase marker and write how sexy/beautiful/hot they are on the bathroom mirror, have their favorite snack on their side of the bed so they can have a bedtime snack. If you need more ideas, look at Pinterest! Lord knows us ladies have an account and have food boards, kid boards, clothes boards, houses we will never have boards….but how about this week we create a “Spouse Board?” Make your profile picture on Facebook one of you and your spouse! Comment on their profile picture! Comment on their social media accounts! Get involved in their life and do something out of the norm that will let them know that you are trying!
Pray for your spouse! When you think about how bad your marriage is, or maybe how your marriage isn’t the way it once was, instead of getting down about it pray for your spouse! Pray that God would trigger a feeling or emotion and get you back to take place in your memory! Pray for extra time with your spouse and that you two would connect during your time together.
I encourage all married people out there to start getting back to the basics, and don’t stop until you get back to there. And when you get back to that point, don’t stop! Keep doing things that leave your spouse in awe. Make it your daily goal to make your spouse feel special and loved. Even if they aren’t returning the favor right away. Keep doing your part. It’s hard to do good when you aren’t getting anything in return, but don’t give up on your marriage.
Lord, I pray for marriages that are going through seasons in their marriage where they are feeling disconnected from one another. I pray that you give us crazy ideas on how to reach our spouse so that they will know how special they are. I pray that marriages that have gotten away from God, turns back to God and keeps God in the center of their marriage. Give us wisdom on how to make our marriage work! As we are trying in our marriage, give us strength! Amen
Until next time…be encouraged!