My husband I both have lead really busy lives during the course of our marriage. It seems like we have done things backwards. We started a blended family, got married, didn’t think we had enough children–so we added to the fix, then decided college and work would be the best ideas. There have been times in our marriage where we have both felt like we were single parents.
Maybe you are in a relationship or you are married and have children and often thinking of yourself as a single parent. I know I often thought, “What’s the point of being in a relationship or marriage if I feel like I am just doing everything on my own.” It is hard living busy lives and having a family while being married or in a relationship.
At the beginning of our marriage, we had so much on our plate and I found myself really lonely and depressed. I felt completely disconnected to my husband. I knew he needed to work and finish school since he had already started, but dang, it was hard. There were nights that I would have the baby and driving around in the car all hours of the night while the rest of the house slept. There were days where I didn’t get much sleep and had to be at work the next morning. It physically, mentally, and emotionally drained me!
Looking back on the times where I felt like I was a “single parent,” I wish I would have known then what I know now. And, what I know now is that it only lasts for a period of time in our lives. When we are going through the struggle, we never think that we will get our spouse back! Maybe you are having a hard time with your children and feeling like you are doing all the parenting on your own. Maybe you have a spouse overseas. Maybe you have a relationship that needs to be evaluated.
The one thing that I always did wrong back in the day, was not express to my husband my feelings (or the right way anyway..) If you are feeling like a “single parent,” talk to your husband about your feelings. Don’t yell. Don’t gripe. Don’t play the blame game. But, simply let your spouse know that you are having a hard time feeling connected to them. Let your spouse know that you are feeling emotionally drained. Ask your spouse what they suggest.
Also, if you are having a hard time, as with anything in life, pray about it! Pray that God will give you strength! Still to this day, my husband stays busy and often has to go out of town. I once heard a Pastor at a church tell a single woman (she was really single) that God could be her husband until she found one! God could be the father to her children. At first, I was like..”Whhaaaa?” But, it was just this morning that I said, “Lord, I need your help to remember things!” “I need your help with the kids and their behavior!” (Because they tend to run over me or not listen as well when Daddy is gone!) I still have hard days, but in the end, I know I’m blessed.
Let me pray for you. Lord, I pray for these moms and even dads at are feeling like they are single parents. I pray that they are able to communicate their concerns and feeling to their spouses or significant others in a way that they will understand and receive it well. I pray that they are able to restore and work on time spend together. I pray for families that are struggling! Lord just help us and give us strength and while our other halves are out of commission, Lord, you be in control! In Jesus’ name!!!