This blog is full of encouragement for everyone…including teenage parents. I am here to tell a little bit of my story and hopefully shine some encouragement on those that are finding out they are going to be parents.
I remember the fear that I felt when I finally grasped the concept that I was going to be a Mother…to a child…when I was still a child myself. I was so scared and had no clue what my life would hold. I thought my life was over. In a perfect world, I thought, “I am about to have a baby with ‘the man of my dreams’ and we will get married, get a small house, and we will live happily ever after.” Gosh, was I wrong.
My parents and family along with his parents and family found out that I was pregnant. They were all crushed and disappointed, as any parent would be. I couldn’t even face my Dad because I had let him down so much and I knew it. I had to go to school but hated it because there I was wobbling down the halls getting so many awful looks from other students and even teachers. I spent most of the time in the bathroom stalls crying and just wishing my life was over. I had no clue what to do or how to act. I believe it was during this time where I really found out what depression was.
There was a lot of trouble after the baby was born. The father of the baby and I didn’t last long after the baby was born. Even after we had a baby and had been through everything..pregnancy, fighting, our parents clashing because they had different points of view on how to raise the baby….my child’s father still had just one thing on his mind. I could punch him in his throat….not really, but in my head, thinking about that right now. As I mentioned, we didn’t last long. It wasn’t long until he had moved on with his life and here I was trying to raise a kid, sleepless nights, arguing with my parents, going to school, trying to live a normal life.
I decided I needed to get in church. Hey, it’s the least I could do, right? So there I was, getting dropped off at church with my baby. I had always believed in God, but didn’t know what it was like…or even get a glimpse of how to have a relationship with Him. I thought, “I am going to Hell because I have had a kid..” “I can’t make my life right..” “I’m such a screw-up.” Those church folks didn’t really know what it was like to have a relationship with Jesus either, because they thought the same things that I did…that I was going to Hell, I couldn’t make my life turnaround, and I was a screw-up. I still went to church and have no clue why, I guess I was trying to raise my child in church. I wanted and still want more for my kids than I have.
Looking back, I realize that that enemy that I always talk about started telling me lies right off the bat. That I was worthless, not worthy of God’s love, that I was a screw-up. I stayed mad and upset at myself for a long time I don’t even want to think about what kind of person I was. I am sure I was much less than pleasant to deal with. I am sure a lot of teenage parents think the same thing. They have messed up their lives and clueless of what to do. I learned to just let the haters motivate me. I graduated school…and college..and got married. The father of my oldest child hasn’t been a part of their lives, but in my eyes, we’ve done just fine without him.
If you are a teenage mom, don’t lose hope. Just do the best you can and if you are doing the best you can, don’t listen to what other people have to say about you. Until they have walked in your shoes, they have no room to talk. Don’t get too down if it doesn’t work out with the father of your baby. I stayed upset at that for a long time, and still from time to time wonder why the father of my child has chosen to not be a part of my child’s life. He’s missed so much because he chose to do him first.
If you are a teenage father, do what you are supposed to do for the baby. No, you might not make it with the mother of your child, but that doesn’t give you the excuse to cut tithes with your baby. Have a relationship with your children because it really does something to their lives when you aren’t present in their lives. Support your child, because it is hard to raise a child on your own.
Being a teenage parent doesn’t mean your life is over, it just mean you will have a different ending that you expected. I’m praying for you!
Know someone who is pregnant? E-mail them this post!
Until next time….be encouraged!!!